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Nowadays people tend to get married when they are at least 30 years old. What are causes about that. It is advantage or disadvantage?

Nowadays people tend to get married when they are at least 30 years old. What are causes about that. It is advantage or disadvantage? dror7
There are several reasons which cause people to decide to have a family after they get older than the age(s) of 30 years old. Some people do not get married under that age even though they (are being) have been a couple for years. For my perspective, it relies on whether how much they are able to account their couples' lives or not. For example, the majority of people usually have a sense of sustainability when they are older than 30s, their financial status is substantial, the revenue in household is consistent. Therefore, (on) this age is the appropriate period to have a family to fulfill their lives. Another motivation that involving this issue is some people, especially males, prefer to spend a long time (for) enjoying their lives as much as possible before settling down with someone, thus they tend to delay getting married for more opportunities and more experiences of themselves. Moreover, in this competitive and chaotic era many young people (are) concentrate (to) on their work and their daily lives instead of finding someone into their ways while they are not ready so they possibly postpone wedding or having family (to be stated later) after 30 years old. There are plenty possible benefits will (be occurred) occur if people start having a family after 30 years old. First of all, (on) at that age the physical and emotional maturity of people is developed, the function of critical thinking and the amount of life experiences are higher than the adolescents. Therefore, it is well prognosis? ? ? to maintain the couples’ lives because every family has the problems if they can solve problem effectively, it would be positive for their future. In addition, it is conceivable that getting married after being ready is beneficial for society as well as their family in terms of being successful parents since they have secure financial status they can provide better caring and education to their children. In summary, positive aspects of starting family after 30 years old are as equal as making an effective family (planing) planning not only for their current (couple) life as a couple but it is also helpful for their future.
There are several reasons which cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to decide to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age(s)
of 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married under that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
even though
they (are being) have been a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
for years. For my perspective, it relies on whether how much they are able to account their couples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
or not.
For example
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
have a sense of sustainability when they are older than 30s, their financial status is substantial, the revenue in household is consistent.
Therefore
, (on) this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the appropriate period to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Another motivation that involving this issue is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
males, prefer to spend a long time (for) enjoying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as much as possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
settling down with someone,
thus
they tend to delay getting married for more opportunities and more experiences of themselves.
Moreover
, in this competitive and chaotic era
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(are) concentrate (to) on their work and their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
instead
of finding someone into their ways while they are not ready
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
possibly
postpone wedding or having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
(to
be stated
later) after 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
possible benefits will (
be occurred
) occur if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
after 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, (on) at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
the physical and emotional maturity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is developed
, the function of critical thinking and the amount of life experiences are higher than the adolescents.
Therefore
, it is well prognosis? ? ?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has the problems if they can solve problem
effectively
, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for their future.
In addition
, it is conceivable that getting married after being ready is beneficial for society
as well
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in terms of being successful parents since they have secure financial status they can provide better caring and education to their children. In summary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
after 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are as equal as making an effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
(planing) planning not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(couple)
life as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
helpful for their future.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people tend to get married when they are at least 30 years old. What are causes about that. It is advantage or disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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