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Many people spend a lot of money on their weddings and birthdays what are the causes of it and what suggestions will you suggest to improve this situation

Many people spend a lot of money on their weddings and birthdays what are the causes of it and what suggestions will you suggest to improve this situation ldjxK
Many people think that nowadays folks are being spent a lot of wealth on their wedding and birthday parties. This essay will manifest my viewpoint on why this is happening as well as also some suggestions to improve the situation. To commence with, many individuals are wasting too much money on their birthdays and weddings there can be two main reasons of it, either it could be dream of someone to do a grand party on their birthday and wedding or could be just method of showing their wealth. To explicate it, numerous people have a dream to organise a big event on their birthday for wedding. However, most of them just wanted to Flex about their wealth and income. For instance, according to a report, most of the people who are even below the middle class 9 wants to arrange a big wedding for their children just only for showing off. Moreover, most of these weddings cost are except than 50000 to 100000 United States dollars. Further moving, these types of money wasting parties just be stopped. To explain it, by encouraging general public to do a simple parties on any kind of special occasions. Furthermore, bio wearing them that all this money could be used in some efficient as well as effective Works from where they could earn more income. To exemplify, this huge amount of money could also be used for the brighten future of bride and groom, instead of wasting it on fancy wedding parties. At the end, the huge amount of money should not be spent on weddings and birthdays especially for those who don't have many sources of wealth and income, therefore this occasional and special events should be simple.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that nowadays folks are
being spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
and birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
. This essay will manifest my viewpoint on why this is happening
as well
as
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation. To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are wasting too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
there can be two main reasons of it, either it could be
Consider using a past participle here: "dreamed", "dreamt".
dream
of someone to do a grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
on their birthday and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
or could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
method of showing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
. To explicate it, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a dream to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
on their birthday for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
.
However
, most of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wanted to Flex about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
and income.
For instance
, according to a report, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are even below the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
9 wants to arrange a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
for their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for showing off.
Moreover
, most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
cost are except than 50000 to 100000 United States dollars.
Further
moving, these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, by encouraging
Consider using "public".
general public
to do a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
on any kind of special occasions.
Furthermore
, bio wearing them that all this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
efficient
as well
as effective Works from where they could earn more income. To exemplify, this huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
The word "brighten" is a verb and doesn't fit in this context. Did you mean the adjective "bright" or "brightened"?
brighten
future of bride and groom,
instead
of wasting it on fancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should not
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
and birthdays
especially
for those who don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
and income,
therefore
this occasional and special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
should be simple.
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IELTS essay Many people spend a lot of money on their weddings and birthdays what are the causes of it and what suggestions will you suggest to improve this situation

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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