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Some people say that social media is a digital drug that has left many people addicted enhanced their lots of valuable time while others say social media has Enable Connectivity with the world. Discuss both views and give your opinion on the topic.

Some people say that social media is a digital drug that has left many people addicted enhanced their lots of valuable time while others say social media has Enable Connectivity with the world. ljL1J
It has been an issue of debate whether internet is fecund or it is futile for human. Although, some individuals believe that most of the people are wasting their time on this platform, whilst others think that with the help of social media anyone can install unknown connectivity with the world. In the following paragraphs, I intend to discuss both views and give my opinion. Evidently, there is nothing left that we can not do with our smartphones including paying electricity bill, shopping something, gathering information so on. However, some of the futile social media applications addicted people improperly. For instance, playing online games is most eminent thing nowadays, maximum proportion of youth is defectively connected to these games and as a result it affects their academic score. On the other hand, internet has been helping people by allowing them to connect along with the world. For example, we can now effortlessly watch the mundane activities of the space as well as we can explore it without any difficulty. Furthermore, many of rudimentary amenities could be gotten by the social media such as purchasing goods, attending online study classes so on. By doing these things people can save their most pivotal time comfortably. In my opinion, social media plays an enormous role in our lives. To illustrate, a person can now watch his relatives or friends with the help of internet. Secondly, there have some inevitable drawbacks of it for example, too much involvement on this site can change people's attitude towards reality such as he or she can become an extravagant and probably they can become counterfeit person. To recapitulate, I would further like to state that advancement in technology is essential but people should consume it scrupulously because may it gives detrimental ramifications to them.
It has been an issue of debate whether internet is fecund or it is futile for human. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are wasting their time on this platform, whilst others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
anyone can install unknown connectivity with the world. In the following paragraphs, I intend to discuss both views and give my opinion.

Evidently
, there is nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
that we can not do with our smartphones including paying electricity bill, shopping something, gathering information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
futile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
applications addicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
improperly
.
For instance
, playing online games is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
eminent thing nowadays, maximum proportion of youth is
defectively
connected to these games and
as a result
it affects their academic score.

On the other hand
, internet has been helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by allowing them to connect along with the world.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
effortlessly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the mundane activities of the space
as well
as we can explore it without any difficulty.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of rudimentary amenities could
be gotten
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, attending online study classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. By doing these things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save their most pivotal time
comfortably
.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays an enormous role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To illustrate, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
his relatives or friends with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet.
Secondly
, there have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inevitable drawbacks of it
for example
, too much involvement on this site can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attitude towards reality such as he or she can become an extravagant and
probably
they can become counterfeit person.

To recapitulate, I would
further
like to state that advancement in technology is essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should consume it
scrupulously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
may it gives detrimental ramifications to them.
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IELTS essay Some people say that social media is a digital drug that has left many people addicted enhanced their lots of valuable time while others say social media has Enable Connectivity with the world.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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