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Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past.

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past. Kwl5w
Everyone needs a good relationships between their families. Nowadays, the life has changed totally than before. Family relations is one of the changes. In this essey I will argue that there are some reasons to rise this problem and effects on society. There are many causes why faimlies are not close-knit. Firstly, most of parents have jobs. To instance, they spend long time in their work and less and less time in taking care of their children. The biggest problem when the parents have adolescents or teengager because they need more attention to start their lives in good way. Secondly, the majority of this issue is developing of technology. For example, children use gadgets for a long time even if they stay with their parents. Also, because there are a variety of tools like iphone, ipad, ipod, it is easy to use them anywhere and anytime. Finally, each family whether is extended or immediate has some family issue. In fact, when they have different opinions, they prefer to become not close with other to avoid the problems. This issue has drawbacks affecting the society. The children can use illegal things easily. For example, they do not have attention from thier parents, the children can take drugs, alcohol, or they are shoplifting. Furthermore, with use the techonolgy people forget communication skills. To illustrate, when people meet others, they cannot speak fluently face to face and they cannot express what they want to say. In addition, elderly parents cannot take care of themsleves, they need someone to help them and with family issues most chlidren put their parents in nursing home. To sum up, parents should pay attention the relations between their children. Also, parents should take care about children’s upbringing.
Everyone needs a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "relationship"?
relationships
between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Nowadays, the life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
Use "(totally)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
totally
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
relations is one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
essey
I will argue that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons to rise this problem and effects on society.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes why
Possible spelling mistake found.
faimlies
are not close-knit.
Firstly
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have jobs. To instance, they spend long time in their work and less and less time in taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The biggest problem when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have adolescents or
Possible spelling mistake found.
teengager
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need more attention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way.
Secondly
, the majority of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is developing of technology.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
gadgets for a long time even if they stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are a variety of tools like
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipad
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipod
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them anywhere and anytime.
Finally
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
whether
is extended
or immediate has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. In fact, when they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions, they prefer to become not close with other to avoid the problems.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
has drawbacks affecting the society. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
illegal things
easily
.
For example
, they do not have attention from
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can take drugs, alcohol, or they are shoplifting.
Furthermore
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
techonolgy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
forget communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To illustrate, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
others, they cannot speak
fluently
face to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
face and
they cannot express what they want to say.
In addition
, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot take care of
Possible spelling mistake found.
themsleves
, they need someone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them and with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
most
Possible spelling mistake found.
chlidren
put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in nursing home.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should pay attention the relations between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
upbringing.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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