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Some people say that smoking should be banned in public areas. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that smoking should be banned in public areas. qLjAw
The use of cigarettes is increasing at an alarming rate which has become a grave concern nowadays. It is believed that smoking must be banned in public places. I accord with this notion due to some reasons which I will discuss in this essay. To commence with, there must be prohibition on the use of smoking in public areas because smoke released by cigarettes creates hazardous health issues like lung cancer, oral cancer and asthma not only in active smokers, but also in passive smokers. These people range from children and pregnant women. Millions of people lose their lives due to the effects of smoking. Moreover, cigarette smoke contains harmful substance and chemicals which produces detrimental gases like carbon dioxide, carbon mono dioxide and nitrogen. These gases have been proved very dangerous for environment. To carry on, cigarettes which are thrown by smokers which have still spark can cause great loss especially in hot and dry weather. For example, there have been many cases when crops of farmers burnt due to the carelessness of smokers. As a result, farmers suffered from financial crisis. Apart from this, prohibiting people from smoking openly can put bad impact on children and youth because they are the future of the country. They need to be stayed away from smoking and its effects. Therefore, restriction on people regarding smoking habit is fruitful in many ways. In conclusion, undoubtedly, smoking is dangerous for people and surroundings for reasons which have already been mentioned. Freedom to smoke in public must not be given to smokers.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
is increasing at an alarming rate which has become a grave concern nowadays. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be banned
in public places. I accord with this notion due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which I will discuss in this essay.

To commence with, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prohibition on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
smoke released by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
creates hazardous health issues like lung cancer, oral cancer and asthma not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in active smokers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in passive smokers. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
range from children and pregnant women. Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarette
smoke contains harmful substance and chemicals which produces detrimental gases like carbon dioxide, carbon mono dioxide and nitrogen. These gases have
been proved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for environment.

To carry on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cigarettes
which
are thrown
by smokers which have
still
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "sparked".
spark
can cause great loss
especially
in hot and dry weather.
For example
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases when crops of farmers burnt due to the carelessness of smokers.
As a result
, farmers suffered from financial crisis. Apart from this, prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
openly
can put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on children and youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the future of the country. They need to
be stayed
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and its effects.
Therefore
, restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
habit is fruitful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

In conclusion
,
undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and surroundings for reasons which have already
been mentioned
. Freedom to smoke in public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to smokers.
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IELTS essay Some people say that smoking should be banned in public areas.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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