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Social media and the virtual world are now more important than the real world in the construction of young people’s cultural identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

Social media and the virtual world are now more important than the real world in the construction of young people’s cultural identity. Give your own opinion. G9B8B
It is a belief held by many people that social network, along with the cyberspace, are now more influential than the physical world when it comes to creating young people’s cultural identity. While I fully believe that social media platforms play an undoubtedly crucial role in forming one’s cultural self-conception, there are still other factors that are also necessary in this process. To begin with, as youngsters spend most of their free time online, a large proportion of their personality is affected. Their fashion styles, their hobbies, their interests, even their opinions and beliefs are influenced by things that are presented to them online. Moreover, people around this age are especially impressionable, hence the reason why they are so easily impacted. Furthermore, this era of technology development has enabled students to be exposed to people of different cultures and ethnicities from a young age. This will inevitably lead to better integration of global youth. On the other hand, there are also more elements that contributes to the building of teenager’s cultural identity. Firstly, it is basic knowledge that language is the primary source of one’s identification with their culture. With a language being their mother tongue, they have a better opportunity to study deeper aspects of a culture than non-native speakers, as some of the sources can’t be translated well into other languages. Following this, a child’s upbringing is the most crucial – if not the sole factor in determining their cultural identity. Child raising and parenting definitely have a heavier impact on their identity than social medias do as their personality and identity have been modified by these features since birth. In conclusion, early years of childhood can establish one’s overall culture and this will resonate through later years. In summary, apparently both the online and offline world have equally critical roles in shaping one’s cultural identity.
It is a belief held by
many
people
that social network, along with the cyberspace, are
now
more influential than the physical world when it
comes
to creating young
people’s
cultural
identity
. While I
fully
believe that social media platforms play an
undoubtedly
crucial role in forming one’s
cultural
self-conception, there are
still
other factors that are
also
necessary in this process.

To
begin
with, as youngsters spend most of their free time online, a large proportion of their personality is
affected
. Their fashion styles, their hobbies, their interests, even their opinions and beliefs
are influenced
by things that
are presented
to them online.
Moreover
,
people
around this age are
especially
impressionable,
hence
the reason why they are
so
easily
impacted.
Furthermore
, this era of technology development has enabled students to
be exposed
to
people
of
different
cultures
and ethnicities from a young age. This will
inevitably
lead to better integration of global youth.

On the other hand
, there are
also
more elements that contributes to the building of
teenager
’s
cultural
identity
.
Firstly
, it is basic knowledge that language is the primary source of one’s identification with their
culture
. With a language being their mother tongue, they have a better opportunity to study deeper aspects of a
culture
than non-native speakers, as
some of the
sources can’t
be translated
well into other languages. Following this, a child’s upbringing is the most crucial
if not the sole factor in determining their
cultural
identity
. Child raising and parenting definitely have a heavier impact on their
identity
than social medias do as their personality and
identity
have
been modified
by these features since birth.
In conclusion
, early years of childhood can establish one’s
overall
culture
and this will resonate through later years.

In summary,
apparently
both the online and offline world have
equally
critical roles in shaping one’s
cultural
identity
.
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IELTS essay Social media and the virtual world are now more important than the real world in the construction of young people’s cultural identity. Give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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