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Describe a museumHow often do you visit the museum? Which type of museum is popular in your country? Why do you want to visit the museum? v.1

Describe a museumHow often do you visit the museum? Which type of museum is popular in your country? Why do you want to visit the museum? v. 1
Taking a study break after high school and before starting university is very common in certain countries. Many people take a year break to either travel and explore different countries or they may take up some job in gaining experience. This practice has both pros and cons. First of all, taking a break could really help in rejuvenating people. When you travel, you gain a lot of experience. Usually, when people are in high school they live under protected home environment; in the case of any problem, you can seek parents and friends help and advice. But when you travel, you are on your own and if you face any problem, you learn to deal with it. This not only gives you the experience to deal with tough situations later in the life but also gives confidence. Many a times, young people are confused regarding their career options and are often in a dilemma regarding the subjects to choose in universities. Taking up a job before university can help in identifying the field of interest and provide relevant experience. At the same time it also makes them financially independent, some students often save money to fund their university study with this. For instance, before starting university, I was confused whether I should go for computer engineering or electronics engineering; but after working with small start up computer company, I realised that I liked coding and would spend hours in front of computers to automate several processes. This work experience helped me in clearing up my mind and I was 100 percent confident that this is something I would study and having a career in. Sometimes taking a break can also have negative impacts on people. When ones start working, people often take up jobs that require low skills to yet provide easy money.
Taking a study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
after high school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in certain countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take a year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
to either travel and explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries or they may take up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
job in gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. This practice has both pros and cons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
could
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in rejuvenating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When you travel, you gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Usually
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in high school they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under protected home environment; in the case of any problem, you can seek parents and friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and advice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when you travel, you are on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and if you face any problem, you learn to deal with it. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives you the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to deal with tough situations later in the life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gives confidence.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are confused
regarding their career options and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
in a dilemma regarding the subjects to choose in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. Taking up a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in identifying the field of interest and provide relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. At the same time it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
financially
independent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
save money to fund their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
study with this.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, I
was confused
whether I should go for computer engineering or electronics engineering;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after working with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, I
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
that I liked coding and would spend hours in front of computers to automate several processes. This work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me in clearing up my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mind and
I was 100 percent confident that this is something I would study and having a career in.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
can
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take up jobs that require low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
yet
provide easy money.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Describe a museumHow often do you visit the museum? Which type of museum is popular in your country? Why do you want to visit the museum? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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