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some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. others believe tat every individual should be for it. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. others believe tat every individual should be for it. NrM3j
Although some people believe that it is government's duty to take care of the environment, others think that every human being ought to be responsible for it. I personally believe, it is important for every citizen to be responsible and protect the environment. On the one hand, it would be effective for the government to require all citizens not to dump garbage in the open and not to damage the environment, and to establish strict laws and hold citizens accountable for non-compliance. On the other hand, , it is every citizen responsibility to love and protect the environment. If every citizen plants at least one tree, it will be a great contribution to the environment. By way of conclusion, it would be a more effective way for the government and citizens to work together to protect the environment.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's duty to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every human being ought to be responsible for it. I
personally
believe, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
to be responsible and protect the environment.

On the one hand, it would be effective for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to require all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
not to dump garbage in the open and not to damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, and to establish strict laws and hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
accountable for non-compliance.

On the other hand
,
Two consecutive commas
,
it is every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. If every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
plants at least one tree, it will be a great contribution to the environment.

By way of conclusion, it would be a more effective way for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
to work together to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.

IELTS essay some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. others believe tat every individual should be for it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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