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Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children, whereas others say that it has positive effects on the way children develop.Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children, whereas others say that it has positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both sides and give your opinion Nrrl0
In this current era the gadgets are very usefull to everyone. Lots of advanced gadgets changed the human's lifestyle, working style etc. However the one problem world wide is computer widely used by children's for playing games. Some of people believed that it has positive effects for grow up children develop and other sides some humans believe that it has negative effects on mind. Though beatch both sides views regards world issues. In the very first place the "Computer" is most common gadgets in every field. Moreover many peoples has computer in their own house for office work also for children's education. It is fact that in 21st century computer and laptops used for games widely by childrens and humans. The games are comming with high intensity graphics, surround sound system, comes with lots of actions, as well as now children playing games with their friends by internet, called it online gaming. From the game side some of games are help to develops children minds, the another side few games are creates bad impressions on children's mind. The games are comes with lots of types like stretegy, action, simulations, educations, puzzles, boards etc. All games comes with fixed age criteria for all. But some parents don't watch the criteria of games and permitted to children for playing games. Secondly some people's believe that the "Computers" games is very usefull to children for grow up their mind. It is completely fact but the games modes depends for it. For example simulations games is help for how to drive vehicles, how to work trains, bikes, aeroplanes etc. also it was help for traffic rules and how to manage vehicles. Secondly example is puzzles games, it is helpfull to develop their brain to solves any puzzles. To summarise, all the games are very meaning full if children follows and playing it's as per given introduction. All games has comes with positive views and teach lots of. As per discuss above topics my opinion is sometimes playing games on computer is not bed for children, but only for few games.
In this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era the gadgets are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
to everyone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lots
of advanced gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the human's lifestyle, working style etc.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the one problem
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
is computer
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by children's for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects for grow up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
humans believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
Possible spelling mistake found.
beatch
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
views regards world issues. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
place the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Computer
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
common gadgets in every field.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
peoples has computer in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for office work
also
for children's education. It is fact that in 21st century computer and laptops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
widely
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
and humans. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
comming
with high intensity graphics, surround sound system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of actions,
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with their friends by internet, called it online gaming. From the game side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
, the another side few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are creates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impressions on children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of types like
Possible spelling mistake found.
stretegy
, action, simulations, educations, puzzles, boards etc. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You should probably use "come".
comes
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
age criteria for all.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the criteria of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and permitted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Secondly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
The word 'believe' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "belief"?
believe
that the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Computers
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for grow up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. It is completely fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
modes
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
for it.
For example
simulations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for how to drive vehicles, how to work trains, bikes,
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
etc.
also
it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and how to manage vehicles.
Secondly
example is puzzles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpfull
to develop their brain to solves any puzzles. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
meaning full if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
follows and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
it's as per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
introduction. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comes
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
views and teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of. As per discuss above topics my opinion is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computer is not bed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children, whereas others say that it has positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
346 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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