Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some think that parents task is to bring up children and teach them about good and evil Others believe that the important task of parents is to discipline their children and create a secure surroundings them to grow up.

Some think that parents task is to bring up children and teach them about good and evil Others believe that the important task of parents is to discipline their children and create a secure surroundings them to grow up. r88bL
Some think that parents task is to bring up children and teach them about good and evil Others believe that the important task of parents is to discipline their children and create a secure surroundings them to grow up. To begin with, these days, children need to be nurtured as individuals who are needed in society. First and foremost, parents need to be more involved in the upbringing of their children. If they ignore children, they become attached to interacting media such as friends, television, and the Internet. Secondly, as a result of neglect, juvenile delinquency is on the rise or some of them are joining dangerous gangs. Last but not least, many teenagers are under pressure from their peers. However, I think, parents do not know how to spend their children’s time. Young people, in turn, need a positive role models. First of all, the relationship between the parents in the family plays the most important role. For example, parents amoung quarrels have a negative impact on the child. Second, necessary task of parents is to create a safe environment. For example, a safe environment is very important in raising children, especially from negative influences. To do this, parents need to a firm hand their children and always be with them. To sum up, parents must teach their children good and evil and at the same time create a safe environment for them to grow up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
task is to bring up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and teach them about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and evil

Others believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
task of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to discipline their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and create a secure
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "surrounding"?
surroundings
them to grow up.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be nurtured
as individuals who
are needed
in society.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be more involved in the upbringing of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they become attached to interacting media such as friends, television, and the Internet.
Secondly
,
as a result
of neglect, juvenile delinquency is on the rise or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are joining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
gangs. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are under pressure from their peers.

However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not know how to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
time. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, in turn,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role models.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the relationship between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the family plays the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Possible spelling mistake found.
amoung
quarrels have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the child. Second, necessary task of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to create a safe environment.
For example
, a safe environment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences. To do this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to a firm hand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and always be with them.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and evil and at the same time create a safe environment for them to grow up.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some think that parents task is to bring up children and teach them about good and evil Others believe that the important task of parents is to discipline their children and create a secure surroundings them to grow up.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some think that parents task is to bring up children and teach them about good and evil Others believe that the important task of parents is to discipline their children and create a secure surroundings them to grow up.