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In many countries there is a shortage of suitable people for essential jobs. What do you think are the reasons for this problem and what steps could be taken to solve the problem?

In many countries there is a shortage of suitable people for essential jobs. What do you think are the reasons for this problem and what steps could be taken to solve the problem? kYYWN
Employment is just not indicating “person have a job” but it is also doing a support to person as a financially and mentally. On opposite side, unemployment is representing “person do not have an any work to make money”. Unemployment is worldwide problem and so many reasons behind that like brain-grain (one type of mind set of people to settle in abroad), unemployment, facilities, make money, gain better education, job opportunities, trending scenario, etc. As per my though, there are main three causes to happens shortage of people for essential jobs and there is unemployment, job opportunities and facilities. Now, let’s discuss one by one. There is probability to cause of unemployment is “people may have sufficient knowledge but does not get sufficient job opportunities” or “people may do not have sufficient knowledge but have so many chances to make money. ” Engineers’ situation in pandemic time for example, market goes down day to day that’s why they don’t get any chance to prove themselves. Pandemic is only one factor occurs unemployment. The problem of unemployment can be solving by to make proper economic and infrastructure planning by government. Secondly, government don’t able to provide much facilities in department of education, hospital, research and so on. That’s why students are going somewhere in the world to gain better knowledge. According to one report, 75 students out of 100 prefers to go abroad for make brighter future and stability in every year. Even, 5 lakhs students were going from India in 2019-20. If government able to provide better facility in required sector than brain-grain would be stop. According to is discussed, I should say that every question has an answer but only we need to find out it. This problem has number of solutions but execution plays vital role behind that. That’s why the process will be take place sometime and we would be able to see solution’s effects in gradual way.
Employment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not indicating “person have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
doing a support to person as a
financially
and mentally. On opposite side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
is representing “person do not have an any work to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money”.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Unemployment
is worldwide problem and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind that like brain-grain (one type of mind set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to settle in abroad),
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
, facilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money, gain better education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities, trending scenario, etc. As per my though, there are main three causes to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "happen".
happens
shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities and facilities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s discuss one by one.

There is probability to cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
is “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may have sufficient knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities” or “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may do not have sufficient knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money. ” Engineers’ situation in pandemic time
for example
, market goes down day to day that’s why they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any chance to prove themselves. Pandemic is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one factor occurs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
. The problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
can be solving by to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
proper economic and infrastructure planning by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
don’t able to provide
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
facilities in department of education, hospital, research and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. That’s why students are going somewhere in the world to gain better knowledge. According to one report, 75 students out of 100 prefers to go abroad for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
brighter future and stability in every year. Even, 5 lakhs students were going from India in 2019-20.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
able to provide better facility in required sector than brain-grain would be
Consider using a past participle here: "stopped".
stop
.

According to
is discussed
, I should say that every question has an answer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
we need to find out it. This problem has number of solutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
execution plays vital role behind that. That’s why the process will be take place
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sometime and
we would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
solution’s effects in gradual way.
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IELTS essay In many countries there is a shortage of suitable people for essential jobs. What do you think are the reasons for this problem and what steps could be taken to solve the problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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