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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together .to what extent do you agrer or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. lQDJ
Many people believe that music is a great way to promote cohesion between people of various cultures and age groups. Music can be beneficial for bringing people together for social causes. I agree with the argument that music can bring people of different cultures an ages together. On the one hand, it is likely to broaden peoples horizon to welcome various cultures all over people from different generations. It is not needed to say that performs their cultyre and norms. Music cab be a good method to help individuals to have a better cooperation with other people. It is true that local accent in many regions is the biggest challenge in communication. however, with a song this obstacles can be a tiny problem. There is no boundary of agw when it comes to listen music, which gives the long lasting connection between the teenagers and the older. It is a common ground for all and considered as a popular part time for almost all ages. It is a magical physcological therapies, for medical treatment. In the other words, music and its rythmes can heal hurts ang gather. Many people who have the same symptoms to take part in the treatment. For instance, patients who have a trouble with their mental health and have a headaches from time to time, are encouraged to enjoy meditation music classes to keep their soul balance. Everyone can practise the solution and it doses not require any specifuc ages. In conclusion, music is an excellent way of creating close bonds among people despite their cultural different age groups.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a great way to promote cohesion between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can be beneficial for bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together for social causes. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
together.

On the one hand, it is likely to broaden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
horizon to welcome various cultures all over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations. It is not needed to say that performs their
Possible spelling mistake found.
cultyre
and norms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
cab be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals to have a better cooperation with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is true that local accent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions is the biggest challenge in communication.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, with a song
Did you mean "these"?
this
obstacles can be a tiny problem.

There is no boundary of
Possible spelling mistake found.
agw
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, which gives the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and the older. It is a common ground for all and considered as a popular
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
for almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. It is a magical
Possible spelling mistake found.
physcological
therapies, for medical treatment. In the other words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and its
Possible spelling mistake found.
rythmes
can heal hurts ang gather.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have the same symptoms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the treatment.
For instance
, patients who have a trouble with their mental health and have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a headache" or simply "headaches"?
a headaches
from time to time,
are encouraged
to enjoy meditation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
classes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their soul balance. Everyone can
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
the solution and it doses not require any
Possible spelling mistake found.
specifuc
ages.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an excellent way of creating close bonds among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
despite their cultural
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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