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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? eOa7
Some people say that music is one of the good approach of involving people of different cultures and ages to geather. Music has a great extent of popularity that some are madly die for that. If not hered everyday to intrested songs or loved songs. I agree my openion I agree with this statement. Every one in the world are with diversity of tasts and favourits when it comes to music there are lot many versions and varities present throughout the world and the music is varied for contry to country, Region to region. For an instance, who is from Karnata state, but she loves the beats and music from AP where the regional songs are with fast beats and involving drums and other heavy instruments for the tuning. We became a good friends when we known each other about are tasts are same. Hearing to the music is desent matters with the age of the people. May people come closer and become friends irrespective of their age. when their intrests are matched. For example, when I go to music learning center to learn piano, I had an good conversation with an canadian lady. In some stupuliated period of time we had became a good friends and get habbituated to each others cultures. As every sunday I used to go with her and she comes to the temple with me as to give company. However, we both are eventually intrested and impressed, trusted with each others cultures. even without forgetting our ages. To conclude, that humans are the full with emotions and even more attracts to the emotional things like here music, which is having a beautiful meaning for every beat of song or lyricses. so that why people of various cultures and ages will club together by the music.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
say that
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music
is one of the
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good
approach of involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
to
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geather
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has a great extent of popularity that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are
madly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
for that. If not
Possible spelling mistake found.
hered
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
to
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intrested
songs or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
songs. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
my
Possible spelling mistake found.
openion
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. Every one in the world are with diversity of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tasts
and
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favourits
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
there are lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
versions and
Possible spelling mistake found.
varities
present throughout the world and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is varied
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
contry
to country, Region to region. For an instance, who is from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Karnata
state,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
the beats and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from AP where the regional songs are with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
beats and involving drums and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
heavy instruments for the tuning. We became a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
friends when we known each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
about are
Possible spelling mistake found.
tasts
are same. Hearing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
desent
matters with the
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age
of the
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people
. May
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
closer and become friends irrespective of their
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age
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
their
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intrests
are matched
.
For example
, when I go to
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music
learning center to learn piano, I had
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
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good
conversation with
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
Possible spelling mistake found.
canadian
lady. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
stupuliated
period of time we had
Use past participle here: "become".
became
a
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good
friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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habbituated
to each others
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cultures
. As every
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sunday
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
her and
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the temple with me as to give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
However
, we both are
eventually
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrested
and impressed, trusted with each others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
without forgetting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
To conclude
, that humans are the
The usual collocation for "full" is "of" not "with". Did you mean "full of"?
full with
emotions and even more attracts to the emotional things like here
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, which is having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
meaning for every beat of song or
Possible spelling mistake found.
lyricses
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
will club together by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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