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These days, children have easy access to home computers, tablet computers, and smartphones, and many spend a large part of their free time using these devices. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

These days, children have easy access to home computers, tablet computers, and smartphones, and many spend a large part of their free time using these devices. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion. jOay
Nowadays, many children are having access to computers, tablets, and smartphones and spend their time on these devices. I agree with the situation as the learning capability will increase in the children and they can have an idea on the points that is discussed in their class. I think one of biggest advantages of computers is that they give children access to an infinite amount of information. children who learn to use computers will have a lot of advantages in their lives. children can learn lot of information about their studies and also posses additional information about it, with any live examples. By this learning capability in children will increased. It is the easiest way of learning for the children. As the computers are helpful to children in learning, there are some disadvantages on using it. children might use these devices for unwanted purpose. If the children are using these devices their eyes might be strained for watching for longer hours, they feel stress and even get eyesight. children will become physically weak and mentally imbalance if they use these devices for longer hours even in free times. They have to play sports and physical games with their friends instead of playing games in computer. I conclude that usage of computers by children has both advantages and disadvantages. But children have to take care by parents by making a time control on the usage of these devices and make sure that these devices should be in kids content view, so that they will not use for unnecessary purpose.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are having access to computers, tablets, and smartphones and spend their time on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the situation as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
capability will increase in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they can have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on the points that
is discussed
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
one of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
advantages of computers is that they give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
access to an infinite amount of information.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
who learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
can learn
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
information about their studies and
also
posses additional information about it, with any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
examples. By this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
capability in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will increased. It is the easiest way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
for the children.

As the computers are helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages on using it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
for unwanted purpose. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
their eyes might
be strained
for watching for longer hours, they feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
eyesight.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
will become
physically
weak and mentally imbalance if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
for longer hours even in free times. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
play sports and physical games with their friends
instead
of playing games in computer.

I conclude that usage of computers by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has both advantages and disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care by parents by making a time control on the usage of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
should be in kids content view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for unnecessary purpose.
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IELTS essay These days, children have easy access to home computers, tablet computers, and smartphones, and many spend a large part of their free time using these devices. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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