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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? 85Ma5
agree- without understand lyrics - BTS- foreign fan - mixed with Korean fans old songs - elderly people, imagine their young life memorizes and young people can feel retro vibes and thinking about their parents music trend disagree- growing up with different culture so they prefer different genre of music we usually don't listening Indian music which is completely different from kpop-different age group have their preferred music. It is generally believed that music can make people put together even they have different cultures and generations. I strongly agree with this view as I believe that music is a good way to brining everyone who is from different nations and ages. To begin with, there are several reasons that music can reduce generational gaps between young and old people. First and foremost, music do not need too much understanding. For example, BTS, which is popular boy band from South Korea, BTS's songs made up with Korean lyrics and also their contents are all Korean. Despite the fact that, more than a half of fans from foreign countries and they are not familiar with Korean, the versatile melody in their music still touch their fans' hearts. They can combine together and do not care where they from, what language use they are. In addition, if youth and elderly people listen the same music in a cafe or a concert hall, they can enjoy and sing along together. old generation can imagine their memories and young generation can feel retro vibes. On the other hand, not many but some people also think that it is impossible music can make brining everyone joined at the hip. First of all, every countries have preference genre of music because they grew up with different culture and languages. Most of the Korean like to listening K-pop. It is hard to listen Indian music or North America music which is completely different from our country. Furthermore, as I mentioned, every people who is live on Mother Earth use different language so it is hard to understand what the lyrics mean. For example, Rap with made up English, Non-english users can not understand what they are saying. They might be feel confusing and do not concentrate with beats as well. In conclusion, I think music has some power to make human's mind. And it can make good relationship between people who has different ages, cultures and nationalities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
agree
- without understand lyrics
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
BTS- foreign fan
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
mixed with Korean fans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
songs
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, imagine their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
life memorizes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can feel retro vibes and thinking about their parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
trend

disagree- growing up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
we
usually
don't listening Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which is completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from kpop-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age group have their preferred music.

It is
generally
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
put together even they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and generations. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view as I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to brining everyone who is from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations and ages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
generational gaps between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
do not need too much understanding.
For example
, BTS, which is popular boy band from South Korea, BTS's songs made up with Korean lyrics and
also
their contents are all Korean. Despite the fact that, more than a half of fans from foreign
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
countries and
they are not familiar with Korean, the versatile melody in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
still
touch their fans' hearts. They can
'combine together' is redundant. Use "combine"
combine together
and do not care where they from, what language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
they are.
In addition
, if youth and elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listen the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
or a concert hall, they can enjoy and sing along together.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
old
generation can imagine their memories and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation can feel retro vibes.

On the other hand
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is impossible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
brining everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
at the hip.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
have preference genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they grew up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and languages. Most of the Korean like to listening K-pop. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to listen Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or North America
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which is completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from our country.
Furthermore
, as I mentioned, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on Mother Earth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand what the lyrics mean.
For example
, Rap with made up English,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Non-english
users can not understand what they are saying. They might be
Consider using a past participle here: "felt".
feel
confusing and do not concentrate with beats
as well
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
human's mind. And it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and nationalities.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
399 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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