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It is often argued that zoos help to preserve some wild animal and other species whilst others disagree and think they are inhumane and should be abolished. I agree with the idea that we should not keep animals in zoos and should shut them down. On the one side, many people believe that wild parks help in some regards. It safeguards few perishing wild creatures from poaching and natural disasters. When they are safeguarded in zoos, they can increase their number by breading. For instance, in India one-horned Rhinos are poached for their horn. Later they were sold for an outrageous price. As the result, the Rhinos strength has dramatically fallen within a short time. Later, the government took some initiation to protect these rhinos from hunting and destruction. Because of that authority taken some strict action against them and built numerous zoological parks across the country and protected them. On the other hand, a zoological park can only hold few animals. By this, they protecte

It is often argued that zoos help to preserve some wild animal and other species whilst others disagree and think they are inhumane and should be abolished. I agree with the idea that we should not keep animals in zoos and should shut them down. On the one side, many people believe that wild parks help in some regards. It safeguards few perishing wild creatures from poaching and natural disasters. When they are safeguarded in zoos, they can increase their number by breading. For instance, in India one-horned Rhinos are poached for their horn. Later they were sold for an outrageous price. As the result, the Rhinos strength has dramatically fallen within a short time. Later, the government took some initiation to protect these rhinos from hunting and destruction. Because of that authority taken some strict action against them and built numerous zoological parks across the country and protected them. On the other hand, a zoological park can only hold few animals. By this, they protecte DlM6a
It is often argued that zoos help to preserve some wild animal and other species whilst others disagree and think they are inhumane and should be abolished. I agree with the idea that we should not keep animals in zoos and should shut them down. On the one side, many people believe that wild parks help in some regards. It safeguards few perishing wild creatures from poaching and natural disasters. When they are safeguarded in zoos, they can increase their number by breading. For instance, in India one-horned Rhinos are poached for their horn. Later they were sold for an outrageous price. As the result, the Rhinos strength has dramatically fallen within a short time. Later, the government took some initiation to protect these rhinos from hunting and destruction. Because of that authority taken some strict action against them and built numerous zoological parks across the country and protected them. On the other hand, a zoological park can only hold few animals. By this, they protected only a few animals from destruction. Primarily these rescued animals are deprived of their natural habitat and they have less space to live. Furthermore, many parks have improper maintenance and insufficient foods, which leads to the death of these creatures by a scarcity of food and diseases. Instead of constructing these parks, the government should raise awareness among the public and need to create a reserved forest. As the result, these animals can live here with their original habitats along with natural state, instead of being locked up in cages for their entire life. To sum up, although zoological parks help to safeguard particular creatures, in the meantime many animals have suffered due to insufficient living conditions. In my perspective, they are cruel places and do more harm than good.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that zoos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to preserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and other species whilst others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are inhumane and should
be abolished
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos and should shut them down.

On the one side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regards. It safeguards few perishing wild creatures from poaching and natural disasters. When they
are safeguarded
in zoos, they can increase their number by breading.
For instance
, in India one-horned Rhinos
are poached
for their horn. Later they
were sold
for an outrageous price. As the result, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "Rhinos'" or "rhino's"?
Rhinos
strength has
dramatically
fallen within a short time. Later, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
initiation to protect these rhinos from hunting and destruction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that authority taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict action against them and built numerous zoological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
across the country and protected them.

On the other hand
, a zoological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hold few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. By this, they protected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from destruction.
Primarily
these rescued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are deprived
of their natural
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
habitat and
they have less space to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
have improper maintenance and insufficient foods, which leads to the death of these creatures by a scarcity of food and diseases.
Instead
of constructing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should raise awareness among the public and need to create a reserved forest. As the result, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
here with their original habitats along with natural state,
instead
of
being locked
up in cages for their entire life.

To sum up, although zoological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to safeguard particular creatures, in the meantime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have suffered due to insufficient living conditions. In my perspective, they are cruel places and do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
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IELTS essay It is often argued that zoos help to preserve some wild animal and other species whilst others disagree and think they are inhumane and should be abolished. I agree with the idea that we should not keep animals in zoos and should shut them down. On the one side, many people believe that wild parks help in some regards. It safeguards few perishing wild creatures from poaching and natural disasters. When they are safeguarded in zoos, they can increase their number by breading. For instance, in India one-horned Rhinos are poached for their horn. Later they were sold for an outrageous price. As the result, the Rhinos strength has dramatically fallen within a short time. Later, the government took some initiation to protect these rhinos from hunting and destruction. Because of that authority taken some strict action against them and built numerous zoological parks across the country and protected them. On the other hand, a zoological park can only hold few animals. By this, they protecte

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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