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Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. I would like to discuss both views here. Modern technology have indeed shown comfortness to people in many ways. In earlier days, people used to go to the market for every small purchase which makes it tedious during their work timing, had to travel to multiple places as all the items are not available at one store and so on but with the modern technology, people have got access to purchase anything they want by sitting at home, have many options to compare the products online from various vendors and get the best price out and most importantly time and money are saved as they do not need to travel for any purchase. On the other hand, small scale/street vendors are greatly impacted as they aren't able to compete with the pricing models which online shopping offers, having reduced margin due to the lesser sale in the market and they aren't able to afford investing a huge capital to set up their business online. While the online shopping is much convenient and time saving one, most of the people do not really feel the satisfaction of seeing the product in real than purchasing it online. In my opinion, shopping online using modern technology is definitely an possible option only when we do not have time to go out for purchase/held up with work but purchasing it from the market will give realiability and actual satisfaction of purchase.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
easier, while others disagree. I would like to discuss both views here.

Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have
indeed
shown
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfortness
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. In earlier days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go to the market for every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it tedious during their work timing, had to travel to multiple places as all the items are not available at one store and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
access to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
anything they want by sitting at home, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to compare the products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
from various vendors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best price out and most
importantly
time and money
are saved
as they do not need to travel for any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale/street vendors are
greatly
impacted as they aren't able to compete with the pricing models which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
offers, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
margin due to the lesser sale in the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
market and
they aren't able to afford
If ‘afford’ is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: “to invest”.
investing
a huge capital to set up their business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is much convenient and time saving one, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
really
feel the satisfaction of seeing the product in
Use “realer than” to make a comparison with this adjective.
real than
purchasing it online.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
using modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is definitely
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
possible option
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when we do not have time to go out for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
/held up with work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
purchasing it from the market will give
Possible spelling mistake found.
realiability
and actual satisfaction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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