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Some people say that modern innovation brings a lot more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that modern innovation brings a lot more problems than benefits? v. 1
Modern renovations are thought by some to have had many devastating effects on society, while others believe these inventions are boon. However, I believe that such revolutions encourage individuals, I agree that they have had damaging outcomes on local communities. With regard to individuals the impact of modernization has had advantages on each person. Firstly, it saves time to improve communication technology in trade with greater efficiency whereas before the development of technology people had the chance to meet face-to-face. Secondly, although the flexibility in business with 24/7 online jobs; work from home has increased the accessibility of data, in the past, people worked only 9 to 10 hours a day for social work-life balance. Finally, the invention of vaccines which saves people from life-threatening diseases like plague, smallpox, etc. but it has hazardous risks in terms of allergic reactions. As a result, the modernized era has had countless merits over some stumbling blocks. On the other hand, the ramifications of modern transformation: the scope of employment; as can be seen as negative; online shopping, uber shared base transport disrupted the local taxi industry. Moreover, the other concern is the lack of security regarding Bank transactions, for example, email hacking is a common issue nowadays. Besides this, the sedentary lifestyle due to computer-based jobs, people are unable to perform physical exercise which leads to various health issues namely obesity, blood pressure, and vision problems. Additionally, these inventions also increased environmental pollution; though the harmful emission of gases and chemical waste from Industries. The traffic congestion is a vital source of air pollution which expands the death rates. Consequently, there are enormous obstacles that cannot be ignored, as it is catastrophic for society. In conclusion, even though modern revolutions have brought people to a certain height of success, they have not had the same effect on local communities. However, I completely agree that the evolution of technology has major unwanted life-threatening outcomes; this essay outlines the detrimental effects of modernism.
Modern renovations are
thought
by
some
to have had
many
devastating effects on society, while others believe these inventions are boon.
However
, I believe that such revolutions encourage individuals, I
agree
that they have had damaging outcomes on local communities.

With regard to individuals the impact of modernization has had advantages on each person.
Firstly
, it saves time to
improve
communication technology in trade with greater efficiency whereas
before
the development of technology
people
had the chance to
meet
face-to-face.
Secondly
, although the flexibility in business with 24/7 online jobs; work from home has increased the accessibility of data, in the past,
people
worked
only
9 to 10 hours a day for social work-life balance.
Finally
, the invention of vaccines which saves
people
from life-threatening diseases like plague, smallpox, etc.
but
it has hazardous
risks
in terms of allergic reactions.
As a result
, the modernized era has had countless merits over
some
stumbling blocks.

On the other hand
, the ramifications of modern transformation: the scope of employment; as can be
seen
as
negative
; online shopping,
uber
shared base transport disrupted the local taxi industry.
Moreover
, the other concern is the lack of security regarding Bank transactions,
for example
, email hacking is a common issue nowadays.
Besides
this, the sedentary lifestyle due to computer-based jobs,
people
are unable to perform physical exercise which leads to various health issues
namely
obesity, blood pressure, and vision problems.
Additionally
, these inventions
also
increased environmental pollution; though the harmful emission of gases and chemical waste from Industries. The traffic congestion is a vital source of air pollution which expands the death rates.
Consequently
, there are enormous obstacles that cannot be
ignored
, as it is catastrophic for society.

In conclusion
,
even though
modern revolutions have brought
people
to a certain height of success, they have not had the same effect on local communities.
However
, I completely
agree
that the evolution of technology has major unwanted life-threatening outcomes; this essay outlines the detrimental effects of modernism.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that modern innovation brings a lot more problems than benefits? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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