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some people say that it the responsibility of the richer countries to improve the health,education and trade in poorer countries.

some people say that it the responsibility of the richer countries to improve the health, education and trade in poorer countries. xm8g1
The three factors, health, education and trade are very important now a days. it is neccesary for the development of poorer countries to work on it. Most people prefer that it is the responsibility of the governments of the richer countries to help in these factors of the poorer countries to improve it. In my opinion, i agree that it is the responsibility of the richer countries. Most people belive that poorer countries need to develop their health, education, and trade sectors by themself because these people belive that no one is ready to help each other. Why some one invest their money with other country? But they don't now about the advantages of these invesment. It like one kind of a business. For example, china invest their Millions dollors in pakistan for Cpake project. it is not only the benefit of Pakistani people but china can also will eat fruits. These people prefer that in globe everyone can do somethings by himself. Some people thought that it is the responsibilty of the richer countries to support poorer countries in hardest situation because in this modern time its very important to create a good relationship with our neighbour countries. For instance, Covid-19 one of unwanted situation occured in the whole Globe. China full support pakistan in this pendamic health issue because china know how may its important to us makes a good relationship with pakistan. In conclusion, Health, education and trade is very neccessary for a country. And every richer development countries need to improve these factors in poorer cuntries beacuse its not only the responsilbity of the poorer country to improve
The three factors,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, education and trade are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccesary
for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to work on it. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer that it is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in these factors of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it. In my opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
richer
countries.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, education, and trade sectors by
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that no one is ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other. Why
Did you mean "someone"?
some one
invest their money with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
about the advantages of these
Possible spelling mistake found.
invesment
. It like one
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of a
business.
For example
, china invest their Millions
Possible spelling mistake found.
dollors
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
pakistan
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cpake
project.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the benefit of Pakistani
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
china can
also
will eat fruits. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer that in globe everyone can do somethings by himself.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the hardest".
hardest
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this modern time its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with our
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, Covid-19 one of unwanted situation
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
in the whole Globe. China full support
Possible spelling mistake found.
pakistan
in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
pendamic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
china know how may
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with
Possible spelling mistake found.
pakistan
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
, education and trade is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. And every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
richer
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
these factors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
Possible spelling mistake found.
cuntries
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacuse
its not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsilbity
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
improve
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IELTS essay some people say that it the responsibility of the richer countries to improve the health, education and trade in poorer countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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