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Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. v. 1
There is no doubt that personality of People reflects from the attire they wear either traditional or professional. Some people argue that choice of clothes reveals persons aspect and beliefs. In my opinion, although culture reflects in dressing, but type not. In this essay I will support my opinion with an example. On the one hand, some people believe that 7nature replicates from apparels. This is not true. For instance, I am working in the banking sector, where we are total of 50 employees in a department. All we are from distinctive background and different tradition. We all are professional and we work together. All the male employees’ wear the same getup in office, although they are from diverse culture. We cannot judge the personality of an individual on the basis of clothes, because all have the same dressing. Therefore to know about the quality, we can judge from his/her nature. On the other hand, some people think dressing reflects the Culture. In other words, people who wear their choice of clothes shows from where a person belongs. To illustrate, In India all the Hindu females wear saree. It is their culture which imitates from which national background they belongs. Moreover, in Pakistan all the females wear Abaya, to follow their tradition. Hence it is demonstrated that choice of outfits tells almost person Beliefs. In conclusion, some people think that dressing reflects person charisma and values. In my view, one of the significant aspect of the tradition is clothes while personality is based on individual nature.
There is no doubt that personality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reflects
from the attire they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
either traditional or professional.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
reveals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
aspect and beliefs. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reflects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
type not. In this essay I will support my opinion with an example.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that 7nature replicates from apparels. This is not true.
For instance
, I am working in the banking sector, where we are total of 50 employees in a department. All we are from distinctive background and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tradition. We all are professional and we work together. All the male employees’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the same getup in office, although they are from diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. We cannot judge the personality of an individual on the basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
to know about the quality, we can judge from his/her nature.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reflects
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
their choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
from where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
belongs. To illustrate, In India all the Hindu females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
saree. It is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which imitates from which national background they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "belong"
belongs
.
Moreover
, in Pakistan all the females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Abaya
, to follow their tradition.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it
is demonstrated
that choice of outfits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
Beliefs.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reflects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
charisma and values. In my view, one of the significant aspect of the tradition is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
while personality
is based
on individual nature.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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