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In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.9

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 9
In recent decades, in some nations increasing in the number of people who are choosing to live by themselves has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although, this trend will cause some problems, the advantages will be equally significant. There are two major disadvantages of the rise in one-person households. The first drawback is that since people who decide to live alone live without the daily support from their family, they may experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and worry. In fact, elderly people and the divorced are more at risk of depression, which is becoming an increasingly severe problem in society. Second, by living alone, the safety of these people could be more at risk than others. This means that there would be no one to discover them and take them to the hospital when these ones have a heart attack or any other sudden illness, which could cause them detrimental consequences and even death. Despite the negatives mentioned above, living alone brings a wide range of benefits. First, in order to choose to live alone, people may become more independent and self-reliant than those who live with family members. For example, they need to pay bills and do all household chores themselves, which could effectively improve their ability of self-management. Second, if a person lives in a one-person household, he will have inner peace and freedom of designing his own life. This means that they can create their own rules and make their own decisions without worrying about other people's opinions, thereby enabling self-determination and thus a high degree of freedom. In conclusion, in my opinion the increase in one-person households has both beneficial and detrimental effects.
In recent decades, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations increasing in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by themselves has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although, this trend will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, the advantages will be
equally
significant.

There are two major disadvantages of the rise in one-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
. The
first
drawback is that since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without the daily support from their family, they may experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and worry. In fact, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the divorced are more at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of depression, which is becoming an
increasingly
severe problem in society. Second, by living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, the safety of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be more at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
than others. This means that there would be no one to discover them and take them to the hospital when
This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write "these" instead.
these ones
have a heart attack or any other sudden illness, which could cause them detrimental consequences and even death.

Despite the negatives mentioned above, living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
brings a wide range of benefits.
First
, in order to choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may become more independent and self-reliant than those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with family members.
For example
, they need to pay bills and do all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chores themselves, which could
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their ability of self-management. Second, if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in a one-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
, he will have inner peace and freedom of designing his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life. This means that they can create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions without worrying about other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinions, thereby enabling self-determination and
thus
a high degree of freedom.

In conclusion
, in my opinion the increase in one-person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
has both beneficial and detrimental effects.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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