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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful other thing that those who contribute to society like scientist and teachers are more successful discuss both views

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful other thing that those who contribute to society like scientist and teachers are more successful discuss both views bOBkX
There have been ongoing debates whether money makes a person successful or not. some masses think that teachers and scientists are most successful for society. others think that money is important to gain success. therefore, I will discuss both views in the upcoming body paragraph before reaching reasoned conclusion. To embark with, Masses claim that people who have a lot of money are successful due to multifarious facts. first and foremost is that inflation is increasing day by day. due to this, people have to pay taxes so masses who are wealhy, they can easily Pay it. in addition to it customers who have enough money, their living standard can high. along with this, individual can get good jobs so they can get high salary. owing to this, masses can afford luxurious things such as clothes and jewellery. On the other hand, the supporters of the latter view favours that teachers and scientists are most successful. firstly with the help of teacher, students can enhance their knowledge and make their future bright, . Apart from this scientist invented a lot of things which makes people life easier. So teachers and scientist are fruitful to make successful society. To recapitulate and give my opinion, I would certainly vote for the second statement. the main reason is that teachers make students future bright and due to lot of inventions of scientists their life become easier.
There have been ongoing debates whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
or not.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
are most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
for society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to gain success.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, I will discuss both views in the upcoming body paragraph
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching reasoned conclusion.

To embark with, Masses claim that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
due to multifarious facts.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
and foremost is that inflation is increasing day by day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay taxes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
masses who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
wealhy
, they can
easily
Pay it.
in addition
to
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it customers
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, their living standard can high.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
along
with this, individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high salary.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
owing
to this, masses can afford luxurious things such as clothes and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
.

On the other hand
, the supporters of the latter view
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
are most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, students can enhance their knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their future bright
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Apart from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
invented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
life easier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
are fruitful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
society.

To recapitulate and give my opinion, I would
certainly
vote for the second statement.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
main reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
students future bright and due to
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
inventions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
their life become easier.
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IELTS essay Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful other thing that those who contribute to society like scientist and teachers are more successful discuss both views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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