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Some people say that history offers no practical benefit to society while others claim that history teaches us to understand the present. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that history offers no practical benefit to society while others claim that history teaches us to understand the present. PX6VX
The question of whether history offers a benefit to society is one which is debated. Some people claim it is useful while others say it is a waste of time. I believe that history is an important tool for us to learn from past human errors and is vital for those who work in certain professions. On one side of the debate are those people who argue that history really offers nothing for society today. They claim that, for the majority of jobs, there is no requirement for people to have any prior knowledge of history. Good examples are professions such as accountants, retail workers or even those on the construction sites, who go about their daily work without any need to know about what happened during events in the past. There are other people who claim that history is extremely relevent to the world today as it is a tool to learn from our past mistakes. History teaches us that atrocities from times gone by, such as war, should not be repeated. Hence, by teaching the young people of today about this past behaviour will hopefully prevent history repeating itself. Many people around the world were subjected to slavery and we know now that this type of human treatment is unethical and immoral.  In my view, I support the idea of teaching children about the events of the past because I would hate to think that we did not learn from the mistakes humanity made. I believe it does have a practical benefit as some professions require a detailed knowledge of historical events. These would be teachers and professors at university as well as those people who work in archaelogy or social science.  In conclusion, while some people say that history is not necessary, I firmly believe it has an important place in our society as it teaches us many ways to avoid making future mistakes.
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
The question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
offers a benefit to society is one which
is debated
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim it is useful while others say it is a waste of time. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool for us to learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
human errors and is vital for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work in certain professions. On one side of the debate are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
really
offers nothing for society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. They claim that, for the majority of jobs, there is no requirement for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have any prior knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
examples are professions such as accountants, retail workers or even those on the construction sites,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go about their daily work without any need to know about what happened during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. There are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
claim that
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history
is
extremely
Possible spelling mistake found.
relevent
to the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
as it is a tool to learn from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
mistakes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
teaches us that atrocities from times gone by, such as war, should not
be repeated
.
Hence
, by teaching the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will
hopefully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
repeating itself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
around the world
were subjected
to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
slavery and
we know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that this type of human treatment is unethical and immoral.  In my view, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of teaching children about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I would hate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we did not learn from the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "mistakes'" or "mistake's"?
mistakes
humanity made. I believe it does have a practical benefit as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professions require a detailed knowledge of historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. These would be teachers and professors at university
as well
as those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work in
Possible spelling mistake found.
archaelogy
or social science.  
In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is not necessary, I
firmly
believe it has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place in our society as it teaches us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to avoid making future mistakes.
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IELTS essay Some people say that history offers no practical benefit to society while others claim that history teaches us to understand the present.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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