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Children should be encouraged to sports

Children should be encouraged to sports Aabj1
It is considerable by some that parents should encourage children to spend less time on academics and they should focus on fitness activities. I completely agree with this notion and relevant reasons will be discussed in the following paragraphs. The first and foremost reason of involving children in physical fitness makes them overall well being. With the help of encouraging schoolgoers to participate in sports events will help in developing their stamina as well as rejuvenate their brain. Moreover, it will reduce the chances of falling sick and this can improve their academic performance and will able to better grades. Another clear reason is this that indulging children in physical fitness will help in becoming them socially physically interactive. When they will play with their peer group they will learn diverse qualities such as te am spirit, team cooperation and decision making which will further help them in becoming good citizen. Moreover, regularly practicing sports activities will have positive effect on their health. Children will not suffer from chronic diseases like obesity, Type2 diabetes. For example, a recent survey conducted by an eminent researcher Dr. James Smith of University of Stanford revealed that students who are into fitness activities are less prone to serious diseases. Furthermore, those students who have taken sports seriously in their career can reach upto several heights and will able to get lucrative job opportunities. Even they are rewarded by highest awards such as gold medal and cash prize and make the country and parents proud. For instance, Milka Singh from India who has won marathon in Olympics 1993 for the first time in the Indian history has made his parents and country pround. He was rewarded with cash prize. To conclude, students should not be pressurized for only studies but they should be encouraged not only from their parents also from respective authorities for other physical fitness programs.
It is considerable by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to spend less time on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
academics and
they should focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
activities. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion and relevant reasons will
be discussed
in the following paragraphs.

The
first
and foremost reason of involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
overall
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of encouraging
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolgoers
to participate in sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in developing their stamina
as well
as rejuvenate their brain.
Moreover
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the chances of falling sick and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their academic performance and
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to better grades.

Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
reason is this that indulging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in becoming them
socially
physically
interactive. When they will play with their peer group they will learn diverse qualities such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
te am
spirit, team cooperation and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
which will
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in becoming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen.

Moreover
,
regularly
practicing sports activities will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on their health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will not suffer from chronic diseases like obesity, Type2 diabetes.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by an eminent researcher Dr. James Smith of University of Stanford revealed that students who are into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
activities are less prone to serious diseases.

Furthermore
, those students who have taken sports
seriously
in their career can reach
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
several heights and
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lucrative job opportunities. Even they
are rewarded
by highest awards such as gold medal and cash prize and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the country and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
proud.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Milka
Singh from India who has won marathon in Olympics 1993 for the
first
time in the Indian history has made his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and country
Possible spelling mistake found.
pround
. He
was rewarded
with cash prize.

To conclude
, students should not
be pressurized
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should
be encouraged
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
from respective authorities for other physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
programs.
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IELTS essay Children should be encouraged to sports

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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