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Some people say that history is unnecessary in school

Some people say that history is unnecessary in school M7yQ
In these days, students have to learn different objects. People hold different ideas about which subject is important or not. Consequently, some people say that it is unnecessary to learn history at school. Personally, I agree with this statement. First, history in these days is taught in the way too academic, which means students have to remember all the detailed information such as dates, names or facts which are hard to remember to pass the test. History is not about remembering information but the understanding of why people behave in certain ways, which is vital to avoid the future mistakes. If history can not be taught in the right way, it is not necessary, because there is so much important knowledge from science, technology to remember. Second, history is not a subject that people rarely use in daily life or future jobs, other subjects like science could be more beneficial than history. For example, chemistry knowledge can be applied in creating medicines, technology knowledge can be used to help people access the internet easier or help job seekers get the overseas jobs. In conclusion, I agree that history is an unnecessary subject because it is taught in the wrong ways and other subjects are more important to learn.
In these days, students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn
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different
objects.
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People
hold
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different
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ideas
about which
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subject
is
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important
or not.
Consequently
,
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that it is unnecessary to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
at school.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

First
,
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history
in these days
is taught
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
too academic, which means students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
remember all the detailed information such as dates, names or facts which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to remember to pass the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is not about remembering information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the understanding of why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behave in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, which is vital to avoid the future mistakes. If
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history
can not
be taught
in the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
, it is not necessary,
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because
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
knowledge from science, technology to remember.

Second,
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history
is not a
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subject
that
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people
rarely
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use
in daily life or future jobs, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like science could be more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
For example
, chemistry knowledge can
be applied
in creating medicines, technology knowledge can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
access the internet easier or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
job seekers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the overseas jobs.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is an unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is taught
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to learn.

IELTS essay Some people say that history is unnecessary in school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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