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Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. 9R67
Computers in the new millennium are the everyday life and people usually work every day in front of the screens. Since people are children, in our modernity, use the computer for play games or for using programs. Computers are the biggest discovery in the world and it takes some advantages and a lot of disadvantages. In my opinion, people who work with screens need to have more breaks during work hours than people who work outdoor, because digital machines create dependence and they are not good for our body or brain. The dependence on computers is a very popular problem in young people. Today students usually learning with computers and teachers make many many lessons with them. After school, teenagers came home and start play videogames or stay on the smartphones. Too much time in front of screens and computers creates stress and dependence which are negative realities for people. Some advantages we can find to use computers in our everyday life are the fast and organization that people could have while they are using it. This technology is advancer than the human capacity and they create or calculate things that normal people can't do. The computer is something that helped a lot for human evolution and scientific discovery, without this creation, today our life would be totally different and not evolved. Furthermore, the computer is the main problem for sustainability because they make a lot of special waste, but on the other hand, solved a lot of problems for the wood destruction and paper waste.
Computers in the new millennium are the everyday life and
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people
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
every day in front of the screens.

Since
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people
are children, in our modernity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer for play games or for using programs. Computers are the biggest discovery in the world and it takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of disadvantages.

In my opinion,
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people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with screens need to have more breaks during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outdoor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
digital machines create
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dependence and
they are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for our body or brain.

The dependence on computers is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular problem in young
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people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
students
usually
learning with computers and teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lessons with them. After school,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
came home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
play
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videogames
or stay on the smartphones. Too much time in front of screens and computers creates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and dependence which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
realities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
advantages we can find to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers in our everyday life are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and organization that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could have while they are using it. This technology is
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advancer
than the human
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
capacity and
they create or calculate things that normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can't do. The computer is something that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
for human evolution and scientific discovery, without this creation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
our life would be
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and not evolved.

Furthermore
, the computer is the main problem for sustainability
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of special waste,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
, solved a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of problems for the wood destruction and paper waste.
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IELTS essay Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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