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some people say that history is a more important subject . others say that science and technology are more important than history. discuss both views

some people say that history is a more important subject. others say that science and technology are more important than history. discuss both views 9wPlx
Certain individuals is favouring that history is a great learning source in school whereas some of them opposed it and think that science and technology should be placed instead of history in school subjects. In this essay, I will discuss both views and then give my view afterwards. To commence with, history plays an essential role to enhance children's knowledge about their traditions and cultural values. It also preserves historic objects such as antiquities, collection of artefacts, royal attire, and many more things which are placed in historic buildings and monuments and learners get more knowledge about history by visiting these places which is crucial to broaden the horizon of their mind. On the other side, science and technology have entirely changed human's life. Every day it makes a new invention which brings a lot of advantages for a human being such as telecommunication. Nowadays. people are connected with their kith and kin through the internet and various kinds of websites. This is only possible in science and technology. Moreover, in the medical field, it brings new techniques for each illness. for example, years ago, cancer was noncurable and there was no treatment for cancer patients. they suffered for a long time and they became die-off. But now, scientists fond may cure about every problem. In conclusion, after analysing both views, it can be said that every aspect of learning is vital for a child's development whether history or science and technology. All subjects are equally important because history preserve ancient values and technology and science is better for country development.
Certain individuals is
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is a great learning source in school whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them opposed it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should
be placed
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in school subjects. In this essay, I will discuss both views and then give my view afterwards.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
plays an essential role to enhance children's knowledge about their traditions and cultural values. It
also
preserves historic objects such as antiquities, collection of
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
, royal attire, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more things which
are placed
in historic buildings and monuments and learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
by visiting these places which is crucial to broaden the horizon of their mind.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
human's life. Every day it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a new invention which brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages for a human being such as telecommunication. Nowadays.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
are connected
with their kith and kin through the internet and various kinds of websites. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Moreover
, in the medical field, it brings new techniques for each illness.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, years ago, cancer was
Possible spelling mistake found.
noncurable
and there was no treatment for cancer patients.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
suffered for a long time and they became
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
-off.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, scientists fond may cure about every problem.

In conclusion
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both views, it can
be said
that every aspect of learning is vital for a child's development whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. All subjects are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
preserve ancient values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is better for country development.
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IELTS essay some people say that history is a more important subject. others say that science and technology are more important than history. discuss both views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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