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Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. v. 3
Personal and public well-being is tightly related to nourishment choices. While some people believe that the government should regulate nutrition to improve public wellness, others argue that it should be the people’s decision whether to pursue a healthy diet or not. This essay will discuss both points of view and explain why the authorities should not restrict the types of food people can buy. Legislators could impose laws concerning nutrition subsistence and education in an effort to have a healthier and high-level population, therefore, decreasing public health costs. Even if this could be considered a good idea, it would be very quite difficult to implement. To achieve this target, the rulers could impose a levy on unhealthy sustenance options, and tuition waivers for education programs based on budget surpluses from taxation. In Italy, for example, products such as carbonated sugary drinks and chips are heavily taxed. As a result, the sales of these items have decreased. As a matter of fact, if the authorities start to take control of what their citizens can or cannot eat, it may be seen as a limitation of privilege Since personal freedom is an extremely important human right, many people think that they should be responsible for their choices regarding the food and drinks they decide to consume. I agree with this opinion because limiting nutritional options, even if it is done with the best outcome in mind, could consequently create dissatisfaction among the population, which would possibly lead to other public issues such as protests and demonstrations. As a matter of fact, if the authorities start to take control of what their citizens can or cannot eat, it may be seen as a limitation of freedom In conclusion, even though the government is able to control the dietary habits of its population through taxation and restrictions, healthier citizens and reduced public health expenses isn’t the only possible outcome. Limiting personal freedom could result in social unrest and for that reason diet decisions are better to be left up to well-informed individuals.
Personal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
well-being is
tightly
related to nourishment choices. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should regulate nutrition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
wellness, others argue that it should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
decision whether to pursue a healthy diet or not. This essay will discuss both points of view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the authorities should not restrict the types of food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

Legislators could impose laws concerning nutrition subsistence and education in an effort to have a healthier and high-level population,
therefore
, decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health costs. Even if this could
be considered
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quite difficult to implement. To achieve this target, the rulers could impose a levy on unhealthy sustenance options, and tuition waivers for education programs based on budget surpluses from taxation. In Italy,
for example
, products such as carbonated sugary drinks and chips are
heavily
taxed.
As a result
, the sales of these items have decreased. As a matter of fact, if the authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to take control of what their citizens can or cannot eat, it may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a limitation of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
privilege


Since personal freedom is an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
human right,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should be responsible for their choices regarding the food and drinks they decide to consume. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
limiting nutritional options, even if it
is done
with the best outcome in mind, could
consequently
create dissatisfaction among the population, which would
possibly
lead to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
issues such as protests and demonstrations. As a matter of fact, if the authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to take control of what their citizens can or cannot eat, it may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a limitation of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
freedom


In conclusion
,
even though
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is able to control the dietary habits of its population through taxation and restrictions, healthier citizens and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
health expenses isn’t the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible outcome. Limiting personal freedom could result in social unrest and for that reason diet decisions are better to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
up to well-informed individuals.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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