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Some people say that government should reduce air traffic by imposing higher taxes as air traffic is creating noise and pollution. Do you agree or disagree

Some people say that government should reduce air traffic by imposing higher taxes as air traffic is creating noise and pollution. XnPY8
Nowadays, air travel has become increasingly popular among certain demographics of society. Some people believe that increasing fares of air travel can reduce the carbon footprint of the globe. I totally disagree with the statement, and this essay will elucidate the reason in upcoming paragraphs. First and foremost, in today's faster era, people are addicted to air travel which is a convenient and safer transportation vis-a-vis other methods of transportations. Increasing the fares of the air flight would impact on the development of the nations such as the GDP growth will decrease as well as inflation will also increase. Hence these would effect on all levels of the society. Additionally, imposing higher tax on air fares will also effect on the associated organisation such as the airline organisation, transport good & mail delivery organisation. Existing employees of the associated organisation would face employment-related issues as well as mentioned related sector's unemployment rate would also increase, which may be a major reason for the respective country's development growth rate. Moreover, it has been observed that the carbon footprint of the globe is also continuously increasing due to space research. Many developed and developing nations have been doing more research in the space department. Hence, they have been sending more artificial satellites and rockets into the outer orbit of the earth which also play major roles in noise as well as air pollution of the human habitats. Additionally, the waste of the rockets and other technological equipments of the space research also dump anywhere into space which may have an effect on the ozone layer of the earth. To conclude, I would like to suggest that for controlling noise and air pollution, the government bodies must boost such activities which can decrease the carbon footprint of the earth instead of increasing air fares.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel has become
increasingly
popular among certain demographics of society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fares
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the carbon footprint of the globe. I
totally
disagree with the statement, and this essay will elucidate the reason in upcoming paragraphs.

First
and foremost, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's faster era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel which is a convenient and safer transportation
'vis-a-vis' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "vis-à-vis"
vis-a-vis
other methods of transportations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Increasing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fares
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
flight would impact on the development of the nations such as the GDP growth will decrease
as well
as inflation will
also
increase.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
these would
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on all levels of the society.

Additionally
, imposing higher tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fares
will
also
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on the associated
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
such as the airline
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
& mail delivery
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. Existing employees of the associated
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
would face employment-related issues
as well
as mentioned related sector's unemployment rate would
also
increase, which may be a major reason for the respective country's development growth rate.

Moreover
, it has
been observed
that the carbon footprint of the globe is
also
continuously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developed and developing nations have been doing more research in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
department.
Hence
, they have been sending more artificial satellites and rockets into the outer orbit of the earth which
also
play major roles in noise
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution of the human habitats.
Additionally
, the waste of the rockets and other technological equipments of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research
also
dump anywhere into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
which may have an effect on the ozone layer of the earth.

To conclude
, I would like to suggest that for controlling noise and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
boost such activities which can decrease the carbon footprint of the earth
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fares
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that government should reduce air traffic by imposing higher taxes as air traffic is creating noise and pollution.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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