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Some people say that government should build sports facilities for professional athletes. Others believe that such facilities should be open to everyone. Discuss both views with your opinion.

Some people say that government should build sports facilities for professional athletes. Others believe that such facilities should be open to everyone. 8Qn2B
It is opined by few individuals that authority ought to establish sports amenities for professional participants, while others think that such facilities should allow using everyone. Although it is a wise idea to increase revenue from the sports sector. In my opinion, everyone has an equal right to get amenities. On the other hand, it is indisputable that the state should avail sports facilities for professional athletes as they can improve their talents by using proper equipment. Even sometimes, they could not afford expensive tools which are necessary for doing practice. Thus, it is a good notion to provide better sports equipment to athletes and by doing this government can create more revenue as it will be helpful for the nation to improve the economy. For example, a survey conducted by the Times of India reveals that the government of Gujarat has built plenty of sports centres for professional participants and it helps the authority to raise revenue from the sports sector. However, it would hurt the local people of the community. On the other hand, providing modern sports amenities to sportsperson plays an essential role in this modern era, but every people of the nation have a similar right to get any kind of government facilities. Because people have paid taxes from their income to the authority. so, they also expect the authority that they receive a reward for paying taxes. if the government does not provide facilities to all citizens, then it will have a detrimental effect on society. Therefore, authorities should avail sports facilities for all the denizens of the nation. to illustrate better it is reported by BBC that the USA has provided similar sports facilities to all the citizens as common people can improve their skills related to the sports field. In conclusion, despite government ought to avail sports amenities to sportsperson as it is a good initiative to raise the income from the sports sector. In my perception, every people have the same right to obtain sports facilities as they pay taxes to the state each year.
It
is opined
by few individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
ought to establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
amenities for professional participants, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that such facilities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
using everyone.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it is a wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to increase revenue from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sector. In my opinion, everyone has an equal right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
amenities.

On the other hand
, it is indisputable that the state should avail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities for professional athletes as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their talents by using proper equipment. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, they could not afford expensive tools which are necessary for doing practice.
Thus
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
notion to provide better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
equipment to athletes and by doing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can create more revenue as it will be helpful for the nation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy.
For example
, a survey conducted by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
reveals that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of Gujarat has built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
for professional participants and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
to raise revenue from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sector.
However
, it would hurt the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the community.

On the other hand
, providing modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
amenities to sportsperson plays an essential role in this modern era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the nation have a similar right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
facilities.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have paid taxes from their income to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
that they receive a reward for paying taxes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not provide facilities to all citizens, then it will have a detrimental effect on society.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
should avail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities for all the denizens of the nation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
illustrate better it
is reported
by BBC that the USA has provided similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities to all the citizens as common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field.

In conclusion
, despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
ought to avail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
amenities to sportsperson as it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
initiative to raise the income from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sector. In my perception, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the same right to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities as they pay taxes to the state each year.
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IELTS essay Some people say that government should build sports facilities for professional athletes. Others believe that such facilities should be open to everyone.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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