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Some people say that friends are more important than family in today's world;others say that family is always important.

Some people say that friends are more important than family in today's world; others say that family is always important. JMAB
It is the thought of various people that relationships in form of friendships more vital than family. I disagree with the proposition and instead believe that family holds an irreplaceable role in the life of an individual. To begin with, family contributes enormously in a person's upbringing and values, which are shared among all the members. This adds to a better sense of understanding and provides emotional security to an individual, making family values and traits immensely important. To cite an example, a child's first role models are its parents, making one's family all the more cardinal to lead a happy life. Secondly, an individual's family forms the initial support system in their life. Security in physical, social, emotional and most importantly financial needs is always extended by one's family which may not be the case as far as friends are considered. Furthermore, a happy and peaceful life adds abundantly to the success of an individual. Numerous success stories of all people around the world report family support as an important factor which contributes to the position they hold today. Additionaly, family acts as the hub where an individual learns cherishing their kins and providing for others. The relationships developed between one and the various members of their family helps them foster new connections easily. To wrap it up, the roles played by one's family are fundamental in what they grow up to be and what is valued by them. The paramount importance of family cannot be replaced or percieved in competition to any other relationship.
It is the
thought
of various
people
that relationships in form of friendships more vital than
family
. I disagree with the proposition and
instead
believe that
family
holds an irreplaceable role in the
life
of an
individual
. To
begin
with,
family
contributes
enormously
in a person's upbringing and values, which
are shared
among all the members. This
adds
to a better sense of understanding and provides emotional security to an
individual
, making
family
values and traits
immensely
important
. To cite an example, a child's
first
role models are its parents, making one's
family
all the more cardinal to lead a happy
life
.
Secondly
, an individual's
family
forms the initial support system in their
life
. Security in physical, social, emotional and most
importantly
financial needs is always extended by one's
family
which may not be the case as far as friends
are considered
.
Furthermore
, a happy and peaceful
life
adds
abundantly
to the success of an
individual
. Numerous success stories of all
people
around the world report
family
support as an
important
factor which contributes to the position they hold
today
.
Additionaly
,
family
acts as the hub where an
individual
learns
cherishing
their
kins
and providing for others. The relationships developed between one and the various members of their
family
helps
them foster new connections
easily
. To wrap it up, the roles played by one's
family
are fundamental in what they grow up to be and what
is valued
by them. The paramount importance of
family
cannot
be replaced
or
percieved
in competition to any other relationship.
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IELTS essay Some people say that friends are more important than family in today's world; others say that family is always important.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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