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Improvements in Health, Education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent to do you agree and disagree with this statement?

Improvements in Health, Education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. kwA2
The main asset of a nation are its people. Even in the twenty first century people are still do not have the access to many facilities. Due to lack of funds and proper administration many governments seek financial support to improve their conditions. In my opinion, when poor countries obtain support from rich nations, it is associated with benefits as well as problems but mostly helps the poor nations. Generally Rich nations have excessive amount of funds in and they stay dormant in the treasury and those are meant to be utilized during Economic hardships or Pandemic to stabilize the financial situation of the country. Basically, financing funds to the poor nations it can be helpful in improving the detoriating economy and standard of living. Poverty is the root cause for many social evils, since many poor countries are the breeding grounds of anti- social elements and these differences between Rich and poor. Needless to say, there is a possibility of increase in multitude of crimes thus leading to many worst repercussions. For Example, Africa has the most number of people suffering from penury and this has led to creation anti-government militancy groups. But it is possible to reform by developing facilities such as schools and hospitals and establishing businesses and is possible only when the funds are suffice to Giving Financial Assistance not only helps in developing economically, but also provides an opportunity educate their citizens to be self- reliant and helps to alleviate the poverty through different initiatives leading to betterment in the lifestyle. By helping poor grow, the economy increases thus making the country to be global competent. For Instance, India has been successful to be global competent by receiving assistance from UK and USA and has established itself as a global competitor in many aspects. In Conclusion, I totally agree to say that when wealthy nations provide economical succor to poor countries, it no helps to develop many aspects in the country and also promote trade and friendship and it such supports are to be encouraged for betterment of humanity
The main asset of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
are its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Even in the twenty
first
century
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
still
do not have the access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities. Due to lack of funds and proper administration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
seek financial support to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their conditions. In my opinion, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
obtain support from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, it
is associated
with benefits
as well
as problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
nations.

Generally
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have excessive amount of funds
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
in and
they stay dormant in the treasury and those
are meant
to
be utilized
during Economic hardships or Pandemic to stabilize the financial situation of the country.

Basically
, financing funds to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
it can be helpful in improving the
Possible spelling mistake found.
detoriating
economy and standard of living. Poverty is the root cause for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social evils, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are the breeding grounds of anti- social elements and these differences between Rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. Needless to say, there is a possibility of increase in multitude of crimes
thus
leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
worst repercussions.
For Example
, Africa has the most number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering from penury and this has led to creation anti-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
militancy groups.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is possible to reform by developing facilities such as schools and hospitals and establishing businesses and is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the funds are
Consider using a past participle here: "sufficed".
suffice
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


Giving Financial Assistance not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in developing
economically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides an opportunity educate their citizens to be self- reliant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to alleviate the poverty through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
initiatives leading to betterment in the lifestyle. By helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
grow, the economy increases
thus
making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to be global competent.
For Instance
, India has been successful to be global competent by receiving assistance from UK and USA and has established itself as a global competitor in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.

In Conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to say that when wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
provide economical succor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
also
promote trade and friendship and it such supports are to
be encouraged
for betterment of humanity
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IELTS essay Improvements in Health, Education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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