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Some people say that feeling of compitition should be encourage in children other say they should be taught te become corporative. what is your opinion?

A number of people ponder that contest should be inspired in juvenile while others think that its not make children life realistic. However, competition disclose child dormant knowledge and they become more associative. This essay will discuss the major benefits of competition outweigh the drawback. First of all, child are like to imitate all things and cope is also enhance merits or they can spontaneously amplify thinking capabilities. Alongside, cope is seduce them for make good result though innovative new things. Meanwhile, these days, competition is increasing with social circumstances, without challenge leading life is very hard. For an example, a study showed that, this nation is very ahead who is compete with another race beside discover new arms such as, rocket, ballistic missile so more. So I think it is a good effect in child life to do race with their classmate thus they will be capable to accruing more acknowledges but obviously they should accept positive competence side If anyone doesn't suffer from them. Secondly, competition is not a good impact on child life most of the time they copy with any white elephant friends lifestyle. When child can not spend their life, it is drop them different types of crimes like snatching, robbery, mayhem, narcotics business etc. In fact, this effect can not helps to enrich knowledge even though it does not make anyone practical. For an instance, job sector always explore experienced candidate without skill they do not allow on the field. Consequently, competition does not make anyone practical or provide work experienced it distract people from right way. To conclude, sometimes cope rise knowledge and most of the cases it is perturb child from their own way. So my opinion it is better to do right work that doesn't create any hazards in social life and make you practical.
A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ponder that contest should
be inspired
in juvenile while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that its not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
realistic.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
disclose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
dormant knowledge and they become more associative. This essay will discuss the major benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
outweigh the drawback.

First
of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
are like to imitate all things and cope is
also
enhance merits or they can
spontaneously
amplify thinking capabilities. Alongside, cope is seduce them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result though innovative new things. Meanwhile, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is increasing with social circumstances, without challenge leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. For an example, a study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that, this nation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ahead who is compete with another race beside discover new arms such as, rocket, ballistic missile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to do race with their classmate
thus
they will be capable to accruing more acknowledges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
obviously
they should accept
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
competence side If anyone doesn't suffer from them.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
most of the time they copy with any white elephant friends lifestyle. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can not spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is drop them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of crimes like snatching, robbery, mayhem, narcotics business etc. In fact, this effect can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to enrich knowledge
even though
it does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
anyone practical. For an instance, job sector always explore experienced candidate without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
on the field.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
anyone practical or provide work experienced it distract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from right way.
To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
cope rise knowledge and most of the cases it is perturb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
my opinion it is better to do right work that doesn't create any hazards in social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you practical.
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IELTS essay Some people say that feeling of compitition should be encourage in children other say they should be taught te become corporative. what is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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