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some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.13

some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. v. 13
A certain number of individuals feel that the only way the government can successfully tackle the rate of famine and poverty is by improving the growth of the economy, on the other hand others believe this growth is having a detrimental effect in the society and as a result should be shut down. In my opinion, despite the harmful effects of economic growth, I believe that growing the economy by building infrastructures will create jobs which will end the problems. To begin with, one of the main causes of why people are poor and cannot afford daily meals is because they are unemployed. If the government should focus more energy and money into the development of infrastructures such as the building of hospitals, airports, train stations and sanitary systems, these will create thousands of jobs for people, thus ending the hungry strike and poverty among their citizens. For instance, Togo that was previously one of the poorest countries in the world, with 30 % of its population living in poverty, is now the second blooming economy in Africa after their new president invested the 1 trillion dollars they borrowed from the World Bank into infrastructure. However, other people feel that the ill effects of economic growth should not be over looked particularly in regards to pollution and overpopulation that might result from this growth. They are of the opinion that people will tend to move to areas where infrastructures are being built which will lead to more diseases from being overpopulated. Additionally, they are concerned that the crime rate will also go on in areas like train stations and airport at night because of the lack of sophisticated police force. In my opinion, I disagree with this notion as there have been examples of countries that have undergone rapid development without problems such as air pollution, overpopulation and increase in criminal activity. To conclude, quite a decent number of people believe the key to eradicating poverty is for the government to develop the economy, while others are more worried about the drawbacks associated with economic growth and should therefore be stopped. In my candid opinion, I agree with the notion that an improvement in the economy is the most effective way to end poverty, moreover a better planning prior to the development of the economy will negate any possible drawback.
A certain number of individuals feel that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
successfully
tackle the rate of famine and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is by improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand others believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is having a detrimental effect in the society and
as a result
should
be shut
down. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, despite the harmful effects of economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
, I believe that growing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
by building infrastructures will create jobs which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the main causes of why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are poor and cannot afford daily meals is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are unemployed
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should focus more energy and money into the development of infrastructures such as the building of hospitals, airports, train stations and sanitary systems, these will create thousands of jobs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
thus
ending the hungry strike and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
among their citizens.
For instance
, Togo that was previously one of the poorest countries in the world, with 30 % of its population living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the second blooming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in Africa after their new president invested the 1 trillion dollars they borrowed from the World Bank into infrastructure.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that the ill effects of economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
should not be
Did you mean "overlooked"?
over looked
particularly
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
pollution and overpopulation that might result from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. They are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to areas where infrastructures are
being built
which will lead to more diseases from
being overpopulated
.
Additionally
, they
are concerned
that the crime rate will
also
go on in areas like train stations and airport at night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of sophisticated police force. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, I disagree with this notion as there have been examples of countries that have undergone rapid development without problems such as air pollution, overpopulation and increase in criminal activity.

To conclude
, quite a decent number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe the key to eradicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, while others are more worried about the drawbacks associated with economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
and should
therefore
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
. In my candid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that an improvement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is the most effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
,
moreover
a better planning prior to the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
will negate any possible drawback.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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