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Some people say that children spend atoo much time on watching television not do tge any craft and craze activities.

Some people say that children spend atoo much time on watching television not do tge any craft and craze activities. 1V1oG
It is true that, some individuals say that kindles spent a too much time on read TV set even early period as well as nothing do the art and craft activities. I will discuss the several reasons to this dilemma and suggest a certain way to solve this problem in upcoming paragraph. To commence with, there are lot of argument why children after coming home from school invest a to much time on watching station. In other words, first and foremost point is that due to satellite magical box. Some channel is dedicated by children. Secondly, both parents is busy for a hectic work schedule consequently, they not a sufficient energy to use a point with children. In past period, a number of programs is related to kids in slower life, even pro creators spent past with babysitters. For instance, one survey is conducted by authority. To adult is watch a live match any countries on his magical box. Hence, they are causes a numerous health related problems such as eyesight weak, obesity and so on. However, there are certain steps to solve this obstacle. Parent should given an explore hour set property. To explain it park is maintain property is safe for babysitter to play an outdoor games. In fact, body is fit and fine and become a healthier. Government should organized a cinema for little ones to guidance a basic sport and health related. For example, headline of turbine newspaper in Germany president give a better opportunities for a lifestyle of juveniles. Few week later give a guidance for youngsters about sport. As a result, they become healthier people and never suffer from any disease about to viewing an box. In conclusion, audio and video games can be good thing for toddlers while I believe that parent should set viewing limit and peruse to alternative creative activities.
It is true that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals say that kindles spent a too much time on read TV set even early period
as well
as nothing do the art and craft activities. I will discuss the several reasons to this dilemma and suggest a certain way to solve this problem in upcoming paragraph. To commence with, there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
argument why children after coming home from school invest a
Did you mean "too"?
to
much time on watching station.
In other words
,
first
and foremost point is that due to satellite magical box.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
channel
is dedicated
by children.
Secondly
, both parents is busy for a hectic work schedule
consequently
, they not a sufficient energy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a point with children. In past period, a number of programs
is related
to kids in slower life, even pro creators spent past with babysitters.
For instance
, one survey
is conducted
by authority. To adult is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
match any countries on his magical box.
Hence
, they are causes a numerous health related problems such as eyesight weak, obesity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, there are certain steps to solve this obstacle. Parent should
Did you mean "have given" or "give"?
given
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'explore' is correct. If 'explore' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an explore
hour set property. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it park is maintain property is safe for babysitter to play an outdoor games. In fact, body
is fit
and fine and become a healthier.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "organize"
organized
a cinema for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ones to guidance a basic sport and health related.
For example
, headline of turbine newspaper in Germany president give a better opportunities for a lifestyle of juveniles. Few week later give a guidance for youngsters about sport.
As a result
, they become healthier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and never suffer from any disease about to viewing
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
box.
In conclusion
, audio and video games can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for toddlers while I believe that parent should set viewing limit and peruse to alternative creative activities.
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IELTS essay Some people say that children spend atoo much time on watching television not do tge any craft and craze activities.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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