Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to. Do you agree or disagree?

Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to. K0W3R
In current decade, growth in the leisure hours can be seen, still peeps do not engage much of themselves as they used in prior days. I do agree with the statement as mankind are diverted themselves from what they used to enjoy. In the forthcoming paragraphs will discuss in details for the reasons of my agreements. Frist and the foremost, in bandwidths, they try to engage with works they are leftout or invest for future ready work. The invade of technical gadgets and smartphones in our daily lives has shifted the leisure hours. Using mobiles on application like mobiles games, social media, and watching movies has stopped from exploring using their hobbies of outdoor such as photography, writing poems or cooking. In addition to this rise in competition is also one of the reason for people are not anymore find enjoyment in doing leisure works. The fear of judgment, self-doubt creates a wall to find the joy in what we do. For example, one of my friend who used to enjoy photography now have stopped have the same feel as uploading them on instagram, due to low confidence. Despite the increase of Leisure sector created more opportunities, the enjoyment which doing reduced. As the mind of being perfect and best has made people to dissatisfy themselves and eventually leads to continue in future. As per study done by German researcher, conclude that almost doubled the rate the reduction in the people doing the same activities which they enjoy was only due to be perfect in it in three years of time. To summarize, people are no longer being satisfied by the activates they used to during leisure hours due rise in fight of being extraordinary, technology as an escape making less interested in leisure habits.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
decade, growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
hours can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
,
still
peeps do not engage much of themselves as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in prior days. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement as mankind
are diverted
themselves from what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to enjoy. In the forthcoming paragraphs will discuss in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
for the reasons of my agreements.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Frist
and the foremost, in bandwidths, they try to engage with works they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
leftout
or invest for future ready work.
After 'The', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'invade' is correct. If 'invade' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
The invade
of technical gadgets and smartphones in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
has shifted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
hours. Using mobiles on application like mobiles games, social media, and watching movies has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
from exploring using their hobbies of outdoor such as photography, writing poems or cooking.
In addition
to this rise in competition is
also
one of the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
Make sure that 'anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
anymore
find enjoyment in doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
works. The fear of judgment, self-doubt creates a wall to find the joy in what we do.
For example
, one of my friend who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to enjoy photography
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
have the same feel as uploading them on
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
, due to low confidence.

Despite the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leisure
sector created more opportunities, the enjoyment which doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. As the mind of being perfect and best has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to dissatisfy themselves and
eventually
leads to continue
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. As per study done by German researcher, conclude that almost doubled the rate the reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing the same activities which they enjoy was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
due to be perfect in it in three years of time.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are no longer
being satisfied
by the activates they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
hours due rise in fight of being extraordinary, technology as an escape making less interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
habits.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Computer access can harm young children
    Computer access has increased significantly in recent decades. Besides, computer games have attracted a large number of young players. Playing computer games can provide us a sense of fulfillment and make us relaxed, but none of these beneficial benefits are permanent. Playing these games for an ex...
  • 5.5band
    In many countries women are opting not to have children. Some people believe that having children stifles a wom
    Motherhood is an enchanted present received by the women, although a number of women believe that being a mother stifles their career. I literally agree to this concept. My inclination is justified in the ensuing paragraphs. Career is something every single person mostly concerned rather than respon...
  • 5band
    Some parents might think that
    Some parents might think that children must be able to play rather than working on homework, whereas some people said homework is crucial for school life, which I personally agree with the latter. Both of these viewpoints will be clarified in the following paragraphs. Initially, some families, who ...
  • 6band
    WHY WE SHOULDN’T ALLOW TO USE SMARTPHONES IN THEIR EARLY AGE.
    In recent years, using smartphones is considered a growing phenomenon among children. From my perspective, in modern life, most parents are so extremely busy with their job that they don’t have enough extra time to look after their children so they pamper and allow them to use smartphones to enterta...
  • 6band
    Some Companies Have Uniforms For Their Staff Which Must Be Worn At All Times | Band 7. 5 IELTS Essay Sample
    A significant number of companies assume that their staff should wear uniform to create a healthy environment. This essay will discuss the benefits of same inculding remove peer pressure and work professionalism. This dessertation will also discuss the disadvantages inculding less freedom and less m...
  • 5band
    The topic is: Describe some of your favorite eating places in your city (this can include your home)
    " I am currently living in Ho Chi Minh City, which houses an awful lot of eating places that everybody could visit. Among them, my home and Kichi Kichi are the two places that I love most. To begin with, the first reason why I am crazy about enjoying my meals at home is that it is a familiar place ...