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Some people say that children need to spend more time outside to play with other children. Others say this may not be as safe as in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that children need to spend more time outside to play with other children. Others say this may not be as safe as in the past. bENq6
Some claim that this is beneficial to play outside with other kids for children while others state that this may be not secure as in the past. In this essay, I will examine both views and give my personal standpoint. Most convinced that playing outside may not be safe for children as in the past. Because in the past, there was no kidnapping like now because everyone knew each other. If they saw a stranger, they immediately inquired about him and they addresses to community about him. Nevertheless, nowadays, there are a lot of kidnapping so parents worry about kidnapping and injury, so most parents don't allow to play oytside for children. However, I still believe that children should spend free time to play outside with other children as this position can helps children to teach how to work together. Because children need to learn to make friends, how to share and cooperatee how to treat other people. For example, If children only interact in very structured settings such as school or sports teams, children will not they can not learn everything whuch they need to know, so children should play outside from time to time. In conclusion, despite having dangerous aspects like kidnapping to play outside, I am strongly convinced that playing outside teaches how to work with teamwork.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
claim that this is beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kids for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while others state that this may be not secure as in the past. In this essay, I will examine both views and give my personal standpoint.

Most convinced that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
may not be safe for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in the past, there was no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kidnapping
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone knew each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a stranger, they immediately inquired about
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
him and
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "address"
addresses
to community about him.
Nevertheless
, nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kidnapping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
parents worry about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kidnapping
and injury,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most parents don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
Possible spelling mistake found.
oytside
for children.

However
, I
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should spend free time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as this position can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to teach how to work together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends, how to share and
Possible spelling mistake found.
cooperatee
how to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
interact in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
structured settings such as school or sports teams,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Please check the order of words and the punctuation of this sentence!
will not they
can not learn everything
Possible spelling mistake found.
whuch
they need to know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
from time to time.

In conclusion
, despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
aspects like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kidnapping
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
, I am
strongly
convinced that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
teaches how to work with teamwork.
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IELTS essay Some people say that children need to spend more time outside to play with other children. Others say this may not be as safe as in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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