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More and more information about the lives of celebrities I'd found in newspapers, magazines and online. Why is this happening? What are the disadvantages for the reading public?

More and more information about the lives of celebrities I'd found in newspapers, magazines and online. Why is this happening? What are the disadvantages for the reading public? k5XBK
At present society, all the Newspapers, magazines and mobile internet has huge information about the basic routine needs as well as life of the celebrities. This is happening due to people are showing more interest towards celebrities so to increase their trp or price this is how they are using famous persons. In some cases this might become disadvantage to the students for them to reach goals. Firstly, the people who are living in the world, among them 90% of them are more attracted towards top celebrities and they usually follow them in social websites like Instagram and Facebook etc. If anything happens to their family or to that particular famous person then it will be telecasted for a while in television channels and also it is written in newspaper in the front pages only bcz to increase their prices. These above are some of the best examples and these are happening for their own business benefits of products. The main disadvantages caused due to this are losing the humanity, social awareness also decreasing in the current society. the best example is students who are studying they are not much interested in their studies or current society what is happening in the world though they show more attention towards movies, top lists persons etc. In this way the students are losing their memory power and also neglecting the studies become worst. The worst thing happening is the peoples are losing themself by doing all unnecessary things. In conclusion, though the magazines, newspapers provides information about celebrities some stories of people are inspiring us about in each situation in life, it means some of them struggled to become a populated person, so sometimes it's better to know about the lives of celebrity. The public should accept positivity of strugglence and should leave negativity and in few cases we inspire by seeing them.
At present society, all the Newspapers, magazines and mobile internet has huge information about the basic routine needs
as well
as life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. This is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are showing more interest towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to increase their
Possible spelling mistake found.
trp
or price this is how they are using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases this might become disadvantage to the students for them to reach goals.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are living in the world, among them 90% of them are more attracted towards top
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
celebrities and
they
usually
follow them in social websites like Instagram and Facebook etc. If anything happens to their family or to that particular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
then it will be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
for a while in television channels and
also
it
is written
in newspaper in the front pages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
bcz
to increase their prices. These above are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the best examples and these are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business benefits of products.

The main disadvantages caused due to this are losing the humanity, social awareness
also
decreasing in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
best example is students who are studying they are not much interested in their studies or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
in the world though they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
more attention towards movies, top lists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
etc. In this way the students are losing their memory power and
also
neglecting the studies become worst. The worst thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happening
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are losing
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
by doing all unnecessary things.

In conclusion
, though the magazines, newspapers provides information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inspiring us about in each situation in life, it means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them struggled to become a populated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it's better to know about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
. The public should accept positivity of
Possible spelling mistake found.
strugglence
and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
negativity and in few cases we inspire by seeing them.

IELTS essay More and more information about the lives of celebrities I'd found in newspapers, magazines and online. Why is this happening? What are the disadvantages for the reading public?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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