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Some people say that children have too much freedom nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and experiences.

Some people say that children have too much freedom nowadays. Give your opinions based on your knowledge and experiences. elbB
There are certain individuals that hold the view that children do not have too much freedom. These people believe that the greater the freedom children are entrusted with, the greater their ability to grow, learn and be creative. Moreover, these people believe that by limiting a child’s freedom, the child becomes far too dependent on the immediate family and incapable of developing the socialization skills needed for any child to cope in the larger world outside the family. This will result in a shy, introverted individual, limited in his or her ability to explore and respond positively to changing circumstances. In addition, they believe that cultures that entrust their children with freedom are cultures which are healthy, productive and highly creative cultures that tend to lead the world in educational outcomes, technology innovation and artistic genius. The outcome of freedom is extremely positive for the individual child and society. However, I disagree with view. I believe that children these days are given far too much freedom and that this has disastrous consequences for the child and society. Children become ill-disciplined and unruly, tiny Hitlers or tyrants in a world lacking respect or connection. Furthermore, children who do not have a clear familial structure where boundaries involving who they mix with, when and where, tend to feel lost and unloved. Children need directions and fundamental rules so that freedom is not abused. In my own experience, I witnessed my niece, given almost unfettered freedom, become virtually uncontrollable and rejecting any discipline or direction from her family. This is the complete opposite to our traditional values of respect towards older people. The consequences were disastrous for her with an early pregnancy and unwanted early motherhood. I therefore believe that children given too much freedom will tend to abuse it. Often this freedom is really parental neglect disguised as freedom. Children need structure and order or they tend to suffer. Freedom granted must be earned and based on proof they can be trusted and not an automatic right.
There are certain individuals that hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
. These

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the greater the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are entrusted
with, the greater their ability to grow,

learn and be creative.

Moreover
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that by limiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
becomes far too dependent on

the immediate family and incapable of developing the socialization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
needed for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to cope in

the larger world outside the family. This will result in a shy, introverted individual, limited in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her


ability to explore and respond
positively
to changing circumstances.
In addition
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that cultures

that entrust their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
are cultures which are healthy, productive and
highly
creative

cultures that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to lead the world in educational outcomes, technology innovation and artistic genius.

The outcome of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for the individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and society.

However
, I disagree with view. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
these days are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
far too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
and

that this has disastrous consequences for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
become ill-disciplined and

unruly
, tiny Hitlers or tyrants in a world lacking respect or connection.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who do not

have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
familial structure where boundaries involving who they mix with, when and where,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to

feel lost and unloved.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
need directions and fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
is not abused.

In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, I witnessed my niece,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
almost unfettered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
, become
virtually


uncontrollable and rejecting any discipline or direction from her family. This is the complete opposite to

our traditional values of respect towards older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The consequences were disastrous for her with an

early pregnancy and unwanted early motherhood.

I
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to abuse it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
is
really


parental neglect disguised as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
need structure and order or they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tend
to suffer.

Freedom granted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be earned
and based on proof they can
be trusted
and not an automatic right.
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IELTS essay Some people say that children have too much freedom nowadays. Give your opinions based on your knowledge and experiences.

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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