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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. x72b
Advertisement play the important role in sales of things. Some people believe that it is easy to sell products by this way. However, according to another group of people say that advertisements are popular among humans so they do not pay more attention to them. This essay will discuss both views of people by giving some examples based on my own knowledge. On the one hand, nowadays marketing plays crucial role in sales of company products so every manufacturer produce their ads on social media like Telegram, YouTube, Google. Every people watch this ads on their mobile devices or computers as a result they decide to get products which see in a advert. Furthermore, these ads are creative, colours and effects are truely choosen by a person who is responsible for marketing so sometimes people memorise them. On the other hand, some people think that advertisements can not persuade people to buy things because they are watched every day so it is not useful for attracting humans. In addition to this most companies focus on increasing the sales rather than the quality of product. In other words they want to sell more and make more profit but this is not beneficial way to sell goods. To come to conclusion, I can say that marketing is good way to selling product and attracting induviduals but the quality of product are more important.
Advertisement
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plays".
play
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in sales of things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is easy to sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by this way.
However
, according to another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that advertisements are popular among humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not pay more attention to them. This essay will discuss both views of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples based on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge.

On the one hand, nowadays marketing plays crucial role in sales of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
every manufacturer produce their ads on social media like Telegram, YouTube, Google.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Did you mean "these"?
this
ads on their mobile devices or computers
as a result
they decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
advert.
Furthermore
, these ads are creative,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and effects are
Possible spelling mistake found.
truely
Possible spelling mistake found.
choosen
by a person who is responsible for marketing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorise' is British English.
memorise
them.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that advertisements can not persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
every day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not useful for attracting humans.
In addition
to this most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
focus on increasing the sales
rather
than the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
In other words
they want to sell more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more profit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not
Please check whether an article is missing: "a beneficial".
beneficial
way to sell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to conclusion, I can say that marketing is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way to selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and attracting
Possible spelling mistake found.
induviduals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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