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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? XQnA
There is no doubt that many things had changed in the last few decades as a result of advanced technology. People have different views about how the technology impact for relationships among the people. However, this approach have both of pros and cons. In my opinion, technology provides vast of drawbacks as a individual and the whole society. Firstly, this essay will discuss the how to affect technology on the interpersonal communication with the viewpoint and secondly will explain why it is negative in the forthcoming paragraphs, followed by a reasoned conclusion. To commence with, the type of relationships between the people is rapidly being accelerated because of availibility of modern technology. Firstly, eletronic devices and internet allow people to launched the meetings in different countries instead of face-to-face meetings; it will reduce their time wasting. Secondly, services like skype and facebook create new possibilities for relationship with various people. As a results, people build up a strong relationship and they become a virtual friends. To illustrate, according to a survey, the majority of people agree that the type of relationship has been changed due to the technology. On the other hand, some argued that this advancement has detrimental effects as they hardly meet with each other. Presently, all conversation happened through the internet such as various social media apps can also have the result of isolating people, and it may leads to discouraging real interaction. For instance, many youngsters choose to make friends online rather than joining with their peers in the real world. From the social perspective, this soaphisticated technology can be a serious problem. Consequently, availablity of these benefits people will be start the some fake business through the online. For example, many studies have shown that most of people had been cheated from these unreal companies. Hence, if the authorities imposed some rules behalf of the users of modern technology; the society will be more secure near future. In conclusion, the development of technology is inevitable. Although, the outcomes of this revolution is not more positive compared with the past. In my opinion, some restrictions are entirely necessary for the technology users because of having negative effects.
There is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the last few decades
as a result
of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
impact for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, this approach have both of pros and cons. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides vast of drawbacks as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
individual and the whole society.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss
Did you mean "how"?
the how
to affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on the interpersonal communication with the viewpoint and
secondly
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
in the forthcoming paragraphs, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

To commence with, the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
rapidly
being accelerated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
availibility
of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eletronic
devices and internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "to launch"?
to launched
the meetings in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
instead
of face-to-face meetings; it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time wasting
.
Secondly
, services like skype and
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
create new possibilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a result" or simply "results"?
a results
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
build up a strong
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
relationship and
they become a virtual
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "friend"?
friends
. To illustrate, according to a survey, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
due to the technology.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argued that this advancement has detrimental effects as they hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with each other.
Presently
, all conversation happened through the internet such as various social media apps can
also
have the result of isolating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and it may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
to discouraging real interaction.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends online
rather
than joining with their peers in the real world. From the social perspective, this
Possible spelling mistake found.
soaphisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be a serious problem.
Consequently
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
availablity
of these benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
Did you mean "same"?
some
fake business through the online.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies have shown that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
been cheated
from these unreal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Hence
, if the authorities imposed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
behalf of the users of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
; the society will be more secure near future.

In conclusion
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is inevitable.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, the outcomes of this revolution is not more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
compared with the past. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions are
entirely
necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
users
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
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IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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