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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. 7lW5
It is believed that advertisements succeeded in making others purchase what is being advertised, while others think that people don’t pay attention to these advertisements due to the fact they are found everywhere. In my opinion, there are benefits to what advertisements provide but having too much of it can make the viewer uninterested. Companies that put out advertisements understand the needs of their viewers and so, they target specific people who they know will buy them. When a person watches an ad on tv or the internet, they are looking for the best offers they can find of a specific product. Once that product is found, the viewer immediately decides to purchase it. For example, in America there are lots of advertisements targeted towards individuals with medical conditions who need a certain type of drug. The companies then compete and provide advertisements showing why each of them has the best version of that drug. Thus, customers will choose what suits them best and make the purchase. On the other hand, the abundance of advertisements seen everywhere can be too much for some people and causes them to lose interest in what they see, even if what is being advertised is of importance. YouTube, for instance, allows companies to use their platform to advertise what they have to offer. Whenever someone watches a video, they see three to four ads in one video, annoying the viewer. Because of this the viewer skips the ad without taking the time to see the offer. In conclusion, even though advertisements play a large role in providing what the public needs to buy, companies are putting out too many of them annoying the viewers and in turn the public stops paying attention to them.
It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
succeeded in making others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
what is
being advertised
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don’t pay attention to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
due to the fact they
are found
everywhere. In my opinion, there are benefits to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having too much of it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewer
uninterested.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
that put out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
understand the needs of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they target specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who they know will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. When a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
an ad on
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
or the internet, they are looking for the best offers they can find of a specific product. Once that product
is found
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewer
immediately decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it.
For example
, in America there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
targeted towards individuals with medical conditions who need a certain type of drug. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
then compete and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
showing why each of them has the best version of that drug.
Thus
, customers will choose what suits them best and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.

On the other hand
, the abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
everywhere can be too much for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and causes them to lose interest in what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, even if what is
being advertised
is of importance. YouTube,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their platform to advertise what they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
offer. Whenever someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
a video, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
three to four ads in one video, annoying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewer
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of this the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewer
skips the ad without taking the time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the offer.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
play a large role in providing what the public needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are putting out too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them annoying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
and in turn the public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
paying attention to them.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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