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in many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring

in many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring RL5Y
Marriage is an beautiful relationship between two bodies and families. In the current time of technological advancement, one of the most pressing concerns regarding the given topic that is it necessary for women to get married; either being able to earn their money by yourself? I completely agree with this topic and shall explore the dimensions and assertions of this essay and shape up my opinion by the end. To begin with, there are numerous reasons why women not ready to get married. The first and foremost reason is education. in the past time, girls were not allowed to study because of domestic violence. Morever, the value of males were more than female due to that one of the earning hand in the home was male therefore, only man had right to go to school and study. In addition to this, the girls parents prefer to marry without being study. However, now, the world has totally been changed and the mentality of people also change. For instance, women are studying and taking more initiative to compete task with men. There is a huge change between past and present world, women is better than boys in every field; either it be educational or professional. Moving furthur, women do not want to be married as they think that they would lose their freedom. They think that before marriage, they are free from restrictions and free to go easily where they want to go whereas, after being married, they have to follow the rules and regulations of their another home. In spite of this, marriage can put pressure on them to do every work regarding their will. For example, a survey conducted by the university of Delhi reveals that 150 out of 200 women asked that they did not want to marry because their would earn money and another family not wanted them to continue their job so, they neglected to get married. All in all, I personally believe that it is good for women is self independent and completely all task by yourself in a better way, it is even good but they don't leave traditions and think intellectually about marriage and care about moralities and emotions regardless of materials.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marriage
is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
relationship between two bodies and families. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time of technological advancement, one of the most pressing concerns regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic
that is
it necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married; either being able to earn their money by yourself? I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this topic and shall explore the dimensions and assertions of this essay and shape up my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
not ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married. The
first
and foremost reason is education.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
, girls were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of domestic violence.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morever
, the value of males were more than female due to that one of the earning hand in the home was male
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
had right to go to school and study.
In addition
to this, the girls parents prefer to marry without being study.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the world has
totally
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and the mentality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are studying and taking more initiative to compete task with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. There is a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
between past and present world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is better than boys in every field; either it
Did you mean "is"?
be
educational or professional.

Moving
Possible spelling mistake found.
furthur
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not want to
be married
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they would lose their freedom. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, they are free from restrictions and free to go
easily
where they want to go whereas, after
being married
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations of their another home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
can put pressure on them to do every work regarding their will.
For example
, a survey conducted by the university of Delhi reveals that 150 out of 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
asked that they did not want to marry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their would earn money and another family not wanted them to continue their job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they neglected to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married.

All in all, I
personally
believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is self independent and completely all task by yourself in a better way, it is even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
traditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
intellectually
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
and care about moralities and emotions regardless of materials.
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IELTS essay in many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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