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Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge od the following topic: television has had a significant influence on the culture of many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affeccted the cultural development of your society

Television has been invaded sine 18th century. people love to watch it for various reasons like for news, entertainment, inventions, general knowledge. Diferent individuals has dinstinct opinion about watching tv. Some say it has bad influence while other contradict this. To look for positive influence, by watching tv we come to know international or national news, information about own as well as other countries culture, new inventins, discoveries, diseases, its symptoms, its precautions. Moreover, television also provide us entertainment during our leisure time. By exploring tv serials such as "crime petrol" masses bevome aware from future offence. Females get knowledge about rules and laws for their safety. For instance, it was observed during a survey conducted by kathmandu university that crime rate decline about 45% just because awareness created by tv programs. Every coin has two sides. Therefore this also has negative affects. Nowadays, folk prefer to adopt western culture, with which our own rich culture lag behind. Additionally, children spend time in porn movies rather than in news which is the ground of maturity before time. In spite of, sometimes news channels flood with false news, which sparkle a huge partition between public. For instance, an article published in 'the tribune' must read newspaper which describe that number of time the agitation or misunderstanding happen among community merely due to counterfeit news channels. To conclude, I believe that overusage of anything has bad results. Everyone must use it in caution. Otherwise, it had numerous beneffits for the welfare of habitat.
Television has
been invaded
sine 18th century.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it for various reasons like for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, entertainment, inventions, general knowledge.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Diferent
individuals has
Possible spelling mistake found.
dinstinct
opinion about watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence while other contradict this.

To look for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence, by watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know international or national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, information about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
as well
as other countries culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
inventins
, discoveries, diseases, its symptoms, its precautions.
Moreover
, television
also
provide us entertainment during our leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. By exploring
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
serials such as
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
crime petrol
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
masses
Possible spelling mistake found.
bevome
aware from future
Possible spelling mistake. ‘offence’ is British English.
offence
. Females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and laws for their safety.
For instance
, it
was observed
during a survey conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
kathmandu
university that crime rate decline about 45%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
awareness created by
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
programs.

Every coin has two sides.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
this
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
affects. Nowadays, folk prefer to adopt western culture, with which our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rich culture lag behind.
Additionally
, children spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in porn movies
rather
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which is the ground of maturity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels flood with false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, which sparkle a huge partition between public.
For instance
, an article published in 'the tribune'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
read newspaper which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
that number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the agitation or misunderstanding happen among community
merely
due to counterfeit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels.

To conclude
, I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
overusage
of anything has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
results. Everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in caution.
Otherwise
, it had numerous
Possible spelling mistake found.
beneffits
for the welfare of habitat.
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IELTS essay Present a written argument to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge od the following topic: television has had a significant influence on the culture of many societies. To what extent would you say that television has positively or negatively affeccted the cultural development of your society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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