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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. ax97
In todays technology oriented world, almost all of the business to customer firms have started multiple sources of advertisement to sell their products. While few people believe that advertisement really helps a customer as well as a firm in selling something good and important that eventually improves our life, other believes that because of these advertisements, people tend to buy useless products most of the times. With this era of technology, a new product has become really simple. Not only television and radio, almost all of the firms have now started using internet as source of advertisements. Companies are now using social media websites like facebook, twitter to advertise their products. Since the browsing data is also shared with many analytics firms, customers now see these advertisements in many other websites as well. Advertisement has helped many international firms in selling their products that are essential to customers. For example, in India, a customer will not find any automatic wheat grinder easily in the market on the contrary there are chances that a customer come access a new advertisement related to the same product from an international seller. These advertisements provides sale and discount information to the customers. For example, a customer can see an advertisement in television or in any social media website about an ongoing sale and can get an essential product in a better price. This helps both customer in buying an essential product in a much lower price and helps the firms in clearing their inventory. Sometimes, there is a possibility that a customer can start observing a similar advertisement from multiple sellers on different websites. Many firms believe that it's a human tendency to buy a product after watching similar advertisement everywhere. Various big tech giants like Google and Facebook understands this and therefore these days, these websites have started providing a feature to customers to decide what they want to see. A customer can update the settings in case if customer wants to see less advertisements. Sharing data across websites allows a customer to see advertisement about a product which barely wants to buy. This is also fixable as a customer can now control what data to share across websites. On the conclusion, I would like to add that even though there are few drawbacks of advertisements, these drawbacks do not outweigh the benefits. I believe that advertisement helps a customer in deciding what to buy next and also provides information about running discounts and sales and thus it is necessary for a company or firm to advertise about their products.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
technology oriented world, almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
business to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
multiple sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. While few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
as well
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
in selling something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
our life, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
.

With this era of technology, a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
has become
really
simple. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
television and radio, almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
using internet as source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
using social media websites like
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
, twitter to advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Since the browsing data is
also
shared with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
analytics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other websites
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
in selling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
For example
, in India, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
will not find any automatic wheat grinder
easily
in the market
on the contrary
there are chances that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
access a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
related to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
from an international seller. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You should probably use "provide".
provides
sale and discount information to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in television or in any social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
about an ongoing sale and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in a better price. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
in buying an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in a much lower price and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
in clearing their inventory.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, there is a possibility that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
observing a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
from multiple sellers on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
websites.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it's a human tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
after watching similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
everywhere. Various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tech giants like Google and Facebook understands this and
therefore
these days, these websites have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
providing a feature to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to decide what they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
can update the settings in case if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun advertisements is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. Sharing data across websites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which
barely
wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
. This is
also
fixable as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
control what data to share across websites.

On the conclusion, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
that
even though
there are few drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, these drawbacks do not outweigh the benefits. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
in deciding what to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
next
and
also
provides information about running discounts and sales and
thus
it is necessary for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firm
to advertise about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
427 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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