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Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? KxLM
Advertising is a big platform to market a new product for the introduction and older for its sustainability. Nowadays advertising makes a huge impact on buying new things which might we do not need in actual. Although advertising gives us information about new products to improve our lives. Moreover, I do agree with the first statement that advertising forces us to buy new things. I can support my views through the followings aspect I am going to explain in further paragraphs. To begin with, advertising modes are newspaper, television, and online. Internet is the epoch of technology. 99% of the population is surfing the internet while using WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, etc. when people scroll over these platforms they will get the banners, notifications, and badges of different products with beautiful layouts and presentation. Secondly, they provide you great offers by reducing their price from actual prices to play with the human psychology of paying less for more. In respect of this, people usually spend more even when they do not require it. I can support this statement with an example that one day my husband surfing online. He got an advertisement for an iPhone at a discounted price than its usual price and he bought it immediately. having a phone already he thought otherwise he lost the deal. To conclude, Advertising a product increases the value of the product and enhances the tendency to purchase a product whether people required it or not.
Advertising is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
platform to market a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
for the introduction and older for its sustainability. Nowadays advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a huge impact on buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things which might we do not need in actual.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
advertising gives us information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
statement that advertising forces us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things. I can support my views through the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "followings'" or "following's"?
followings
aspect I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in
further
paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, advertising modes are newspaper, television, and online. Internet is the epoch of technology. 99% of the population is surfing the internet while using WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, etc. when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
scroll over these platforms they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the banners, notifications, and badges of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
layouts and presentation.

Secondly
, they provide you great offers by reducing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
from actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
to play with the human psychology of paying less for more. In respect of this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
spend more even when they do not require it. I can support this statement with an example that one day my husband surfing online. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an advertisement for an iPhone at a discounted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
than its usual
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
price and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it immediately.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
having
a phone already he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
otherwise
he lost the deal.

To conclude
, Advertising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
increases the value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and enhances the tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
required it or not.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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