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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Advertising is part of our life, it is everywhere on TV, outside on billboards, in our magazines, or on the internet. Some people think it is a bit too intrusivein ourlives andthat itencouragesus tobuy stuff we don’t really need, on theother hand others think that it can inform us about new products and it is positive for our life. For my part I think advertising is something usefulas it can inform us as to the new products and technologies which are currently onthe market. First of all the goal of advertising is to inform the consumer about brand new products, all those new characteristics, and why theseproducts are sounique. Without advertising we will neverknow about these new technologies. For examplewithout advertisingwe might never know what asmartphoneisand all the new technologieswe use everyday. Then when we know the product, advertising can again be useful to us as it helpsus to make a choice between two differentbrands which sell the same type of goods. They will promote their own ideas, and that will help us to know eachmodel's features andparticularitiesand which one is the best for us. For example, this can helpus to know about all the new computers which are currently on the market and which one is the best dependingon our needs. To conclude, if we have to choose if advertisingis usefulfor us as a consumer or if it is just a bad way to push us to consume stuff we don’t really need, I believe commercialsare a good way which could be really helpful. We should be just a bit carefulto not believe everything, and keep our self judgement to buy productswe really need
Advertising is part of our life, it is everywhere on TV, outside on billboards, in our magazines, or on the internet.
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people
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think
it is a bit too
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intrusivein
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ourlives
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andthat
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itencouragesus
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tobuy
stuff we don’t
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really
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need
, on
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theother
hand others
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think
that it can inform us about
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new
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products and
it is
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positive
for our life. For my part I
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think
advertising is something
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usefulas
it can inform us as to the
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new
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products
and technologies which are
currently
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onthe
market.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
the goal of advertising is to inform the consumer about brand
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new
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products
, all those
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new
characteristics, and why
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theseproducts
are
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sounique
. Without
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advertising we
will
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neverknow
about these
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new
technologies. For
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examplewithout
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advertisingwe
might never
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know
what
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asmartphoneisand
all the
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new
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technologieswe
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use
‘Everyday’ is an adjective. Did you mean “every day”?
everyday
. Then when we
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know
the
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product
, advertising can again be useful to us as it
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helpsus
to
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make
a choice between two
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differentbrands
which sell the same type of
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goods
. They will promote their
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own
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ideas
, and that will
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help
us to
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know
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eachmodel
's features
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andparticularitiesand
which one is the best for us.
For example
, this can
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helpus
to
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know
about all the
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new
computers which are
currently
on the market and which one is the best
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dependingon
our
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needs
.
To conclude
, if we
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have to
choose if
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advertisingis
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usefulfor
us as a consumer or if it is
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just
a
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bad
way to push us to consume stuff we don’t
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really
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need
, I believe
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commercialsare
a
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good
way which could be
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really
helpful. We should be
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just
a bit
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carefulto
not believe everything, and
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keep
our self judgement to
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buy
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productswe
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really
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
need
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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