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Many students have to study subjects which they do not like. Some people think this is a complete waste of time. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People have different views about the methods and planned ways of enthusiastic and useful learning to pupils; moreover, some experts have persuasive arguments about compulsory learning issues. It is true that no optional studies in some matters do not have benefits but in my opinion it may be surprizing to know that people can become more effective and successful in their future life. On the one hand, many commentators are of the view that education process have to be enjoyable; in addition, undesirable subjects take time that is better to spend for an enjoyable and pleasant activity during the learning. Also as a result of decreasing motivation, the rate of gaining and developing knowledge out of class to add more information will fall. Also government allocate huge amounts of budgets for learning and skills councill to spend to plan for further education, it results in decrease in motivation. Besides, reducing joy and happiness among learners would be as a destroying power for education system that affects the amount of learning efficiency, decreasing curious mind indirectly, which leads to decrease the statistic innovation and new inventions and job satisfaction in future. On the other hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that mandatory teaching has some benefits. Firstly facing with unwilling information and understanding would be an excellent power for brain to try to solve them; also, most times it can find easy and better practical solution. Secondly, it seems relatively involuntary education plan helps understand and deal with a difficult fact or problem that might open new aspects of talents and it will discover natural abilities that they have been hidden to them. Finally a difficult and challenging learning process makes diligent and tough personalities for build a strong worker for pyramids of vast job opportunity on the society in adult life. In conclusion, however there are some who oppose this approach and regard it as a mandatory system, i believe obligation in learning process seems have more perks than weakness, so it seems necessary for avoid breeding and rising comfortably crave generation in future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the methods and planned ways of enthusiastic and useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to pupils;
moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts have persuasive arguments about compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
issues. It is true that no optional studies in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
matters do not have benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion it may be
Possible spelling mistake found.
surprizing
to know that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can become more effective and successful in their future life.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commentators are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be enjoyable;
in addition
, undesirable subjects take time
that is
better to spend for an enjoyable and pleasant activity during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
as a result
of decreasing motivation, the rate of gaining and developing knowledge out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more information will fall.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
allocate huge amounts of budgets for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
Possible spelling mistake found.
councill
to spend to plan for
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, it results in decrease in motivation.
Besides
, reducing joy and happiness among learners would be as a destroying power for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system that affects the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
efficiency, decreasing curious mind
indirectly
, which leads to decrease the statistic innovation and new inventions and job satisfaction
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
.

On the other hand
, there are those who subscribe to the view that mandatory teaching has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
Firstly
facing with unwilling information and understanding would be an excellent power for brain to try to solve them;
also
, most times it can find easy and better practical solution.
Secondly
, it seems
relatively
involuntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
understand and deal with a difficult fact or problem that might open new aspects of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talents and
it will discover natural abilities that they have
been hidden
to them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
a difficult and challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
diligent and tough personalities for build a strong worker for pyramids of vast job opportunity on the society in adult life.

In conclusion
,
however
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
who oppose this approach and regard it as a mandatory system,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe obligation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process
Probably a preposition is missing after ‘seems’.
seems have
more perks than weakness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it seems necessary for avoid breeding and rising
comfortably
crave generation
The phrase ‘in future’ is British English. Did you mean: “in the future”?
in future
.
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IELTS essay Many students have to study subjects which they do not like. Some people think this is a complete waste of time. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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