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It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of social media on our lives.

Nowadays the affect of social media in people's life is enormous, in addition it is challenging to reduce this influence. Of course there are some drawbacks and benefits of such undeniable impact of media-rich environment. Firstly, from my point of view the most significant advantage of media is awareness of our society about all fresh news all over the world. The reachable information about all the fields tend to rising the proportion of intelligence group among people. To support this idea, for instance, there are a big deal of blogs on social media platforms which supply society with considerable useful information in specific fields, likewise blogs about computer science, psychology, health lifestyle and about many other interesting aspects of our life. The other benefit that I want to mention is that such media-rich society leads to increasing the number of opportunities for sales, which also leads to decline the poverty in the world. There are a good deal of platforms where salesmen can share the ads and develop their company, increase the profit. In addition all of these function almost free and there is no need in specific knowledge about technology, which also leads to easiness of this process and accessibility for everyone. These benefits can struggle with the problem of poverty. One and the main disadvantage from my point of view of social media is related to psychology. Scientists counted that the impact on person sad mood through whole day can be only 3 minutes of reading or watching the bad news. It is predictable that mood has also significant affect on people's productivity, their behavior, their relationships, which likely will lead to other social problems. Although the enormous affect of the social media in people's life has bad impact on their psychological well-being, there are some significant benefits, such as rise the intelligence and decline in poverty.
Nowadays the affect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life is enormous,
in addition
it is challenging to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this influence.
Of course
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of such undeniable impact of media-rich environment.

Firstly
, from my point of view the most significant advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is awareness of our society about all fresh news all over the world. The reachable information about all the fields tend to rising the proportion of intelligence group among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. To support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
for instance
, there are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “deals”?
deal
of blogs on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms which supply society with considerable useful information in specific fields,
likewise
blogs about computer science, psychology, health lifestyle and about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other interesting aspects of our life. The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
that I want to mention is that such media-rich society leads to increasing the number of opportunities for sales, which
also
leads to decline the poverty in the world. There are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deal of platforms where salesmen can share the ads and develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, increase the profit. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
all of these function almost free and there is no need in specific knowledge about technology, which
also
leads to easiness of this process and accessibility for everyone. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
can struggle with the problem of poverty.

One and the main disadvantage from my point of view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is related
to psychology. Scientists counted that the impact on person sad mood through whole day can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3 minutes of reading or watching the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
news. It is predictable that mood has
also
significant
Did you mean “effect” (consequence, outcome, result)?
affect
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's productivity, their behavior, their relationships, which likely will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problems.

Although the enormous affect of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on their psychological well-being, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, such as rise the intelligence and decline in poverty.
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IELTS essay It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of social media on our lives.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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