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Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to countries' development. However, other people hold the opposite opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, sports and games became hot favourites for everyone and while few individuals believe that it also benefited countries growth but other individuals argue that sports is only for entertainment and it never helps in a country's development. Let's examine both the sides before reaching a steady decision. On the one hand, some people believe that hosting a sports event helps to boost countries' development because sports are becoming a hot favourite trend in teenagers and also in the older generation. So because of this, countries make huge revenue by hosting sporting events like cricket, football and more. For example, countries’ like india, australia and england are very engaging countries in sports and in past few years they did amazing things in sports field thus their countries’ growth also. On the other hand, some individuals argue that sporting event is only for the entertainment and holding a sports event never benefits to countries’ growth, they believes that hosting a sports event is only a waste of money and nothing more and in many cases sports create controversy between two nations which also make a bad impact on nations development. Furthermore, the younger generation these days give more importance to sports than the studies which will also make an effect on their future and also nations growth. In conclusion, hosting a sports event in countries will be beneficial sometime and sometimes it creates problems. But in my opinion holding a sporting event is much more beneficial for countries development than their problems.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and games became hot
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourites’ is British English.
favourites
for everyone and while few individuals believe that it
also
benefited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other individuals argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
entertainment and
it never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in a country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's examine both the sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a steady decision.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost countries'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are becoming a hot
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
trend in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
also
in the older generation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
huge revenue by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like cricket, football and more.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
australia
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
england
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
engaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and in past few years they did amazing things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field
thus
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
growth
also
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the entertainment and holding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
never benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
growth, they
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “believe”
believes
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a waste of money and nothing more and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
create controversy between two nations which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
An apostrophe may be missing.
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Furthermore
, the younger generation these days give more importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
than the studies which will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effect on their future and
also
nations growth.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will be beneficial
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sometime and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it creates problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion holding a sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is much more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
than their problems.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that holding sporting events is beneficial to countries' development. However, other people hold the opposite opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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